A Re-Posting

I've chosen to re-post one of my blog entries for two reasons. One...I'm lazy and I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to write anything. I'd call it writer's block but it's really nothing of the sort. Two...it's been on my mind lately. In recent weeks, I've had several conversations about Mormonism. Sometimes it's hard to articulate myself in these conversations. I feel the following post best exemplifies how I feel about the Mormon religion.

I first posted this on March 20, 2006. Title: Mormonism

Ahh the Mormons. I am one and I'm not one. It all depends on how you look at. I almost prefer to look at Mormons as a race of people. I'm certainly not a Mormon in practice. However in a cultural sense, I will always be a part of the race. I've got Mormon blood in me. But like a lot of people who feel conflicted about their relationship with a certain group, I myself have a love-hate relationship with Mormonism.

I don't go to church anymore. I don't want to and I don't feel guilty about it. I'm just way too liberal for such a conservative religion. I think abortion should be legal. I believe gay people should be allowed to tie the knot if they so wish. I don't see a problem with premarital sex. I enjoy my Irish Cream cappucinos and I think a beer or a glass of wine are acceptable beverages. My views don't mesh well with Mormon teachings.

And yet...

I don't want to be known as a former Mormon. I don't want my name removed from membership rolls. There's something comforting about being a part (even if I don't play the part) of such a unique and often mis-understood crowd. There's something rebellious and satisfying about telling new friends that I have polygamy in my family. I can walk into any Mormon church in the world and know that help is waiting for me if I need it. I can still walk the grounds of Temple Square and feel a tremendous sense of peace.

And yet...

I can be critical of "The Church." I can roll my eyes at that whole priesthood revelation of the late 1970's. I can snort when young Mormons refuse to see a movie because it's rated "R." I can cringe with embarassment when I explain the whole "undergarments" thing to Mormonism rookies.

And yet....

I'm the first to defend "The Church" when someone makes fun of it. I get exasperated when the ignorant try and tell me Mormons still practice polygamy. I can get irate when someone tries to tell me that Mormons aren't Christians. I can tell the story of Joe Smith and what he's all about and I get frustrated when the listener's eyebrow raises and they say, "What is this crap?"

I don't particularly understand my relationship with Mormonism. Am I believer? Probably not. I'm at a place now where I feel more personally connected with God than at any other time in my life. I got there by doing my own thing...not following Mormon doctrine. But Mormonism isn't just a faith to me. It's a culture. Sometimes that culture is too conservative and over-bearing. But I know that if I ever turn to it for help...I will be received with open arms; even if I do see things a little differently than they do.

But I suppose my relationship with Mormonism is a bit like my view on religion in general. We're all individuals and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. That's how I see things. That's why I'll understand those who faithfully follow that Mormon lifestyle just the same as those who shun it with ridicule. Believe what you want to believe. I'm in the middle and I'm happy staying there.