My TV Crush

My desire to be a news anchor is inextricably linked with Michelle King.

It all began on January 28, 1986. I've blogged about it before. What I didn't mention in that post of nearly 2 years ago...was the face staring back at me that night. It was the face of Michelle King.

I was entranced by her. I'm not sure why. Why do any of us develop the crushes we do? There was just something about her. She was, and still is, my favorite news anchor.

I've met her a few times, though I'm not sure she'd remember me. I was an intern at KUED in Salt Lake. I worked on a weekly public affairs program called Civic Dialogue. It was a weekly show where notable community members would sit down for a half-hour interview. I floated the idea of having "local TV news anchor Michelle King" sit down for a personal chat. My bosses liked the idea and told me to book her. I was pretty nervous. "Do I just call KUTV and ask for Michelle King," I asked myself. That's what I did. I got her voicemail. She called back the next day and graciously agreed to do the interview. I finally met her in person on interview day.

A year or so later, I scored an internship at KUTV. I had been working there a few days before I saw her. She remembered me as the one who asked her to do the KUED interview. I thought that was pretty cool. For a while I didn't get a whole lot out of that internship. I was too busy staring around the newsroom...in awe of the people (Michelle King front and center) I had grown up watching. Gradually, that faded and I was able to see everyone as down to earth people.

I don't live in Utah anymore, so I don't get to watch Michelle King every night. Still, it was a little disheartening to hear that she had chosen to retire. Tonight is her last broadcast...after 29 years at KUTV. (It's also Dick Nourse's last show at KSL...after 43 years. Cool...but I just never was a huge Dick Nourse fan).

I'm such a news dork.

This is your life

I was going to devote this post to the topic of football. Yes, football. What in the hell does Lincoln, of all people, have to say about football? Tune in at a later date to find out.

As I was reaching into the memory bank (my journal) for this football entry, I came upon something that has completely perplexed me and thrown me for a loop.

At the end of my first year in Glacier National Park, I bought a journal. For the next 4 years, I wrote in that journal. I obviously didn't do it a lot...otherwise I would have filled the thing up long ago. But I wrote as regularly as could be expected of me.

My last entry was on September 17, 2006. Here's what it said:
"I know what I need to do. Yet the thought terrifies me. Or does it? I suppose the act of "doing" will be terrifying but right now I only feel slight apprehension. I'm wanting more right now. Just something else. Soon, Lincoln. Soon."

Here's the issue: I have absolutely no idea what I was talking about. Seriously. I can't remember. What was I terrified of doing? I looked back in my blog archives to see if my September '06 ramblings would clue me in. No dice. I'm completely, utterly dumbfounded.

I thought journals were supposed to help you re-live memories. Mine has only confused me.

Boise Bound

Finally...some actual movement.

I'm officially headed to Boise for a job interview. It's been on the radar for some time now but now...I actually have a plane ticket.

I've never had a burning desire to move to Boise. I'm not sure how I feel about the prospect. But when I weigh the pros and cons...I realize the cons are simply unknowns. I just don't know much about the city...or even Idaho for that matter. As for the possible job, it's a great opportunity with a seemingly great TV station. So for now, I'm simply excited to see what it's all about. I leave December 9th and I'm stoked.

There are still other possibilities out there....other angles to work. But perhaps this whole "looking for a new job" thing is finally (albeit slowly) coming to a head.

Rivalry

vs.

For the longest time, I was a myspace loyalist. Katie tried for months to convince me that facebook was where it's at. I didn't believe her. I made a feeble attempt to join facebook but it didn't go anywhere. My profile languished, incomplete and lacking substance, for months. Then...someone I had been thinking about for a while...someone I hadn't seen since high school...found that wispy little profile and contacted me. So, in order to communicate with this person, dived head first into the world of facebook.

Wow.

I didn't realize what I was missing. facebook is so much better than myspace. I feel like a 15-year-old girl when I say that but it's true. And there's one simple little reason for the truthfulness:

People.....Are.....Lazy

I don't care how easy the internet makes it to stay connected. It can still be a chore to wade through everyone's profiles on myspace, leave comments, write messages, whatever. It's hard to keep track of it all. facebook does ALL of that for you. It puts in the extra effort for you. You don't have to go searching around to see what people are saying to each other. facebook simply tells you. Everything's automatic. When someone's profile changes...you are notified no matter what. I love it. Yes that's lame. Whatever.

I feel bad for myspace. I really do. I'm usually such a loyalist. But in this case...it just ain't gonna happen.

What the hell happened?

Not too long ago...life was good.

It was summer. I was eating right. I was active. I liked my job. The future looked bright. I was relatively happy.

All of a sudden...life sorta sucks.

It's cold outside. I'm stressed. I don't exercise anymore. Work is blech. I'm nervous about the future. I'm in a rut.

What the hell happened?

Seriously...how does life change so fast without me realizing it?

That's all. I need to get up at 5:30 so I should go to bed. Even though I can't sleep.

Crown & Coke

It's 5:30 p.m. on a Saturday night in Bozeman. I'm home alone, drinking a Crown & Diet Coke. Judge me. I don't care.

It's been an eventful couple of months. I never imagined I'd be where I am right now...dealing with what I'm dealing with. It's enlightening, frustrating, humbling, and exhausting...all at the same time. Here's a rundown of what I've learned recently.

1.) Management is not for me.

I've known that for a long time. Now I'm validated in that belief. Managing is basically babysitting....and I hate it. It's especially hard when you have to babysit the people you've been working with (on an equal level) for the past two years.

2.) People are greedy.

I don't care who you are...when it comes down to it...you're greedy. You're looking out for your own best interests. I'm not excluded in this. But in taking a "management" role at my station, I have a different perspective. Whether it's malicious or not, people are looking out for themselves...at all times...whether they realize it or not.

3.) If there's an open door...people walk through it.

This sort of goes with #2, but it's slightly different. People will take advantage of whatever new situation arises. They're looking out for numero uno...and when new cirumstances make that easier...they seize the opportunity.

4.) Competition can be ugly.

Maybe I don't know how to handle competition because I was never really into sports. But when two friends are suddenly put into the position of competing each other...things deteriorate quickly. It's no fun.

5.) Strong feelings can't be bottled up.

It's okay to fight. People do it all the time. I'd even say it's healthy. But after the cooldown period...you've got to talk things over. It makes for much healthier relationships...even with people you wouldn't consider close friends.

6.) It's easy to get burned out.

I've never been in this situation before. I used to think people who were "burned out" were just whining. Now I know better. Too much of anything can force your body to simply shut down.

7.) We all have an ego.

I don't care how shy or outgoing you are. Your ego is always wanting a little more attention or validation.

8.) Stress can change you.

I'm sure this is obvious to everyone. Personalities change when under stress...especially for those people who don't normally deal with a lot of stress.

9.) Accurate examination of self...is vital.

You've gotta be honest with yourself. You have to look at yourself truthfully. Much of the time, you won't like what you see. But if you can see what other see...you're more apt to change yourself for the better.

10.) Bodies need rest.

I guess science has known this for a while. I'm just beginning to realize it.

Sometimes I wish people I knew didn't read this blog...so I could be a little less vague and more open with my feelings. Then again, my ego would take a hit if I knew people weren't reading. Go figure.

Adjusting to my new reality

Here's the deal.

I work....a lot.

On most days, I'm in the office by 10 in the morning. I leave around 11 at night. There are some days when I literally do not leave the building the whole time. It sucks...to put it mildly. But there is no other choice. I'm news director, producer, anchor, reporter, light bulb changer, car washer, mediator, and any other job title that happens to find me.

It's not going to last forever...but it could last a while. I'm actively looking for a new job. It isn't easy. I'm not sure what I expected when I started the job hunt. I guess I was thinking good fortune and luck would simply come my way. That hasn't happened...yet. And while I've been discouraged for a while now...it's getting a lot better. Reality is setting in...and I'm adjusting to it. Bozeman is not a bad place. Work is terribly difficult right now, but I don't want to leave here...just to leave. When I do go, I want it to be to a place that I'm excited about...a place that's right for me...a place that speaks to me...a place that fits. I'm understanding now that it's going to take some time. I'm okay with that. I have to look on the bright side. I'm raking in the overtime. I'm getting managerial experience (even though I hate it and never wanted it in the first place). I'm still in a great place with good people. I'm being allowed to hunt for a job while I have job security.

So there you go. We'll see what happens.

Remember when...

...you could go trick or treating without having to worry about sex offenders?
...you had to carve a pumpkin WITHOUT those fancy/schmancy pumpkin carving kits with intricate designs and teeny weensy saws?

I was thinking about those two things today. I've seen all kinds of news stories across the country on how to keep your kids from trick or treating at the homes of sex offenders. Really? I guess it's something to be concerned about but...it didn't used to be like that.

And then...I carved a pumpkin last night without using those kits. It was interesting. It turned out well though. I can't remember the last time I did it.

All in all...a good Halloween. I was busy, of course...but still good.

I had way too many mini Twix bars today.