I remember a time when my parents had a police scanner in their bedroom. I've no clue why they ever bought it. A novelty...I guess. Regardless, it became a constant presence for them. They listened to it all the time. I believe (and correct me if I'm wrong mom and dad) it reached the point of necessity. The background noise soon lulled them into sleep every night.
I guess I'm taking after my parents.
The scanner now sits on my nightstand...always turned on. Weird, I know. But I can't help it. I like the noise now. I've come to recognize the distinct differences between every dispatcher in Bozeman. I have my favorites. One is playful and will subtlely joke with officers, deputies, troopers, paramedics, and firefighters. One is intense...with a firm, tension-laced voice inflection no matter what's going on. There's one guy among the group. He's the least descriptive...and I've noticed occasional annoyance on the part of the cops when he's on duty. One is very friendly and has a voice that can only be described as "sweet sounding." One seems like she loves the adrenaline that goes with her position. You can hear the edge in her voice when something big is going on.
I've been to the dispatch center before. I've seen some of their faces. But I can't match those faces to a voice. I've spoken personally on the phone with many of them in the course of my job. (In one case it was when I called 911 to report the neighbors were fighting). I'm fascinated with their work. There are certain nights when there is SO MUCH going on...I can't imagine how they're doing it. And the lingo....don't even get me started. I'm entranced by it.
There is also the benefit of hearing about news events as they happen. I know my station won't miss something if I'm constantly listening to the scanner. But that's a side effect. For me, I just like listening. I can see how the police scanner stayed in my parents bedroom for so long.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Lame
My blog has sucked lately. I'm not writing that much. When I do, I'm usually whining about work. Half the time, I have something profound to say but I'm not nearly articulate enough to put it into actual words...so I give up.
That said...let's talk about work again. Here's the update.
I received two bites from two different stations. One in Eugene, Oregon...another in Boise, Idaho. As far as I know, I'm still in the "we're interested in you but haven't made any decisions yet" phase. It's nice to have some interest out there. I'm courting both stations and waiting for someone to make a serious move. When that happens...I'll start seriously weighing my options.
As far as my current job...it's a doozy. My official title at the station in Bozeman is (and I'm not joking here...it's written this way in my contract) Interim news director/senior producer/anchor/general assignment reporter. My news director left on Friday. I'm temporarily taking over. I'm getting a little more money and lots of overtime. It's going to be exhausting...but I'm resigned to it.
As far as my knees go....I think things are starting to turn around. The first time I noticed a difference was last Thursday. I have less pain...my physical therapy routine is getting easier...and I can walk up and down stairs or carry heavy equipment without wincing. I'm still hearing crunching sounds in both knees (something called crepitice) but the pain isn't there all the time.
In other news...I'm excited for the snow to start falling. I want to get on my snowboard. Bring it on Mother Nature.
That said...let's talk about work again. Here's the update.
I received two bites from two different stations. One in Eugene, Oregon...another in Boise, Idaho. As far as I know, I'm still in the "we're interested in you but haven't made any decisions yet" phase. It's nice to have some interest out there. I'm courting both stations and waiting for someone to make a serious move. When that happens...I'll start seriously weighing my options.
As far as my current job...it's a doozy. My official title at the station in Bozeman is (and I'm not joking here...it's written this way in my contract) Interim news director/senior producer/anchor/general assignment reporter. My news director left on Friday. I'm temporarily taking over. I'm getting a little more money and lots of overtime. It's going to be exhausting...but I'm resigned to it.
As far as my knees go....I think things are starting to turn around. The first time I noticed a difference was last Thursday. I have less pain...my physical therapy routine is getting easier...and I can walk up and down stairs or carry heavy equipment without wincing. I'm still hearing crunching sounds in both knees (something called crepitice) but the pain isn't there all the time.
In other news...I'm excited for the snow to start falling. I want to get on my snowboard. Bring it on Mother Nature.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Murderous Reality
Murder is big business. Just watch CourtTV. Lately, though, I can't really understand why.
Consider this:
Someone, for whatever reason, decides to KILL another human being. They shoot them in the head. They stab them in the chest. They beat them with a hammer. Whichever way they choose to do it...they are KILLING someone. After that happens, the victim's family has to deal with it all. Think for a moment if your mother were murdered. It's awful right? And yet...a murder that doesn't affect us...is entertainment. Why is that? Why does a murder case capture our undivided attention. Why are we so interested and entranced by the aftermath. Why is that the more gruesome or unusual the crime is...the more we like to watch?
I've been thinking about this the past couple days as we cover 2 different murder cases at our station. One happened in Butte. A man was stabbed to death outside a bar. The other...in Bozeman. A suspected drug dealer murdered (allegedly) by two former MSU athletes.
I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to liking this stuff. It's fun for me to be in the court room and hear the testimony. While not as dramatic as Law & Order, it's still a little bit like watching a TV show. I get excited. I want to hear the gory details...
...and then...
...I'm brought back to reality. I look to my left and see a woman sobbing...her husband holding her tightly as she tries to come to grips with the harsh reality of murder. The victim in the case is her son. This isn't entertainment for her. Her son's dead.
Consider this:
Someone, for whatever reason, decides to KILL another human being. They shoot them in the head. They stab them in the chest. They beat them with a hammer. Whichever way they choose to do it...they are KILLING someone. After that happens, the victim's family has to deal with it all. Think for a moment if your mother were murdered. It's awful right? And yet...a murder that doesn't affect us...is entertainment. Why is that? Why does a murder case capture our undivided attention. Why are we so interested and entranced by the aftermath. Why is that the more gruesome or unusual the crime is...the more we like to watch?
I've been thinking about this the past couple days as we cover 2 different murder cases at our station. One happened in Butte. A man was stabbed to death outside a bar. The other...in Bozeman. A suspected drug dealer murdered (allegedly) by two former MSU athletes.
I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to liking this stuff. It's fun for me to be in the court room and hear the testimony. While not as dramatic as Law & Order, it's still a little bit like watching a TV show. I get excited. I want to hear the gory details...
...and then...
...I'm brought back to reality. I look to my left and see a woman sobbing...her husband holding her tightly as she tries to come to grips with the harsh reality of murder. The victim in the case is her son. This isn't entertainment for her. Her son's dead.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Pinch blogger
I sat down to write a meaningful blog entry...but I couldn't flesh out any idea that I had. So I'm taking something off Katie's blog that I really liked. Per her own post...this is not her creation. It was written my Horace Bushnell. I'm still combing over it looking for the nuggets of meaning I know lie within.
On a cold distant night
he stood outside glaring at the sky.
To the left were clouds,
hanging over his head and giving him a simple reminder
that life was far from perfect.
To the right was a clear path, a small glimpse of hope
that someday, somehow, he would muster up the energy
to finally allow himself to heal.
In an imperfect world where drama is the main attraction
there is only so much the soul can take.
We tell ourselves constantly that we are “tired” of the drama.
We continue to believe that the only way possible is to start all over.
Well at least he knew better.
Back in the day, drama was a word that had become an everyday part of his life.
His life had been filled with shambles
and his motivation fueled through bad life experiences.
He was out to please and prove.
He wanted them to know.
To see him as a person who not only mattered but deserved
to be worshiped in some way, shape, or form.
He knew exactly how he felt on the inside
and it was fear that kept him from displaying those deep emotions.
Being weak to him meant asking for help and that was simply not an option.
Because we can never quickly
realize how dramatic our lives can be,
we continue to create situationsthat become unhealthy and unloving.
We tell ourselves that being
angry, upset, or even jealous are normal
everyday feelings for the many moments in our lives.
We want to believe that we are always right
and that there is simply nothing wrong
and even if there were a problem,
we would much rather deal with ourselves.
We keep dramatic people in our lives.
People who serve little to no purpose but are always there
to make sure we fall hard without helping us get up.
We keep them there because it serves as a reminder.
We would much rather see someone else struggle
than to just admit our own defeats.
He looked over to the left, gazing at the sky,
remembering how those clouds had been formed.
There had been moments of self doubt along with
the false realization that life did not involve people.
As he looked over to the right
he began to see hope.
Hope for a better future.
Hope for remembering never to doubt himself again.
He knew that this process was far from over
oh yes he had been here before... patiently waiting...
The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.
On a cold distant night
he stood outside glaring at the sky.
To the left were clouds,
hanging over his head and giving him a simple reminder
that life was far from perfect.
To the right was a clear path, a small glimpse of hope
that someday, somehow, he would muster up the energy
to finally allow himself to heal.
In an imperfect world where drama is the main attraction
there is only so much the soul can take.
We tell ourselves constantly that we are “tired” of the drama.
We continue to believe that the only way possible is to start all over.
Well at least he knew better.
Back in the day, drama was a word that had become an everyday part of his life.
His life had been filled with shambles
and his motivation fueled through bad life experiences.
He was out to please and prove.
He wanted them to know.
To see him as a person who not only mattered but deserved
to be worshiped in some way, shape, or form.
He knew exactly how he felt on the inside
and it was fear that kept him from displaying those deep emotions.
Being weak to him meant asking for help and that was simply not an option.
Because we can never quickly
realize how dramatic our lives can be,
we continue to create situationsthat become unhealthy and unloving.
We tell ourselves that being
angry, upset, or even jealous are normal
everyday feelings for the many moments in our lives.
We want to believe that we are always right
and that there is simply nothing wrong
and even if there were a problem,
we would much rather deal with ourselves.
We keep dramatic people in our lives.
People who serve little to no purpose but are always there
to make sure we fall hard without helping us get up.
We keep them there because it serves as a reminder.
We would much rather see someone else struggle
than to just admit our own defeats.
He looked over to the left, gazing at the sky,
remembering how those clouds had been formed.
There had been moments of self doubt along with
the false realization that life did not involve people.
As he looked over to the right
he began to see hope.
Hope for a better future.
Hope for remembering never to doubt himself again.
He knew that this process was far from over
oh yes he had been here before... patiently waiting...
The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
:)
I took some time this evening to read through some previous posts of mine.
What a whiny, morose, little bitch I've been. Pardon my french, but....seriously.
I worry far too much. Things will work out. They always do. Everyone has problems. Mine aren't that unusual or special. Suck it up, Lincoln.
Um....one thing I have realized over the past few weeks is that I have very good friends. Most of them are far away...and I don't see them that much, but I get the feeling they genuinely like me. They support me. They care about me. Thank you Ron. Thank you Jessie. Thank you Kathryn. Thank you Katie. Thank you Beth. Thank you Jeff. Thank you Alyson. Thank you Jenny. Thank you everyone. I will try to be happier and more upbeat from now on. I'm sure this whole "job hunt" thing (and I think it may be a long, drawn-out process) will cause me to whine more in the future...but I will try to stop worrying.
Before I go...one other tidbit.
This week, I got to see a horse veterinarian collect sperm from a stud stallion. The best part? I was standing next to two women. After it was over one of them said, "Phew....I feel like I need a cigarette."
Ahh...good times.
What a whiny, morose, little bitch I've been. Pardon my french, but....seriously.
I worry far too much. Things will work out. They always do. Everyone has problems. Mine aren't that unusual or special. Suck it up, Lincoln.
Um....one thing I have realized over the past few weeks is that I have very good friends. Most of them are far away...and I don't see them that much, but I get the feeling they genuinely like me. They support me. They care about me. Thank you Ron. Thank you Jessie. Thank you Kathryn. Thank you Katie. Thank you Beth. Thank you Jeff. Thank you Alyson. Thank you Jenny. Thank you everyone. I will try to be happier and more upbeat from now on. I'm sure this whole "job hunt" thing (and I think it may be a long, drawn-out process) will cause me to whine more in the future...but I will try to stop worrying.
Before I go...one other tidbit.
This week, I got to see a horse veterinarian collect sperm from a stud stallion. The best part? I was standing next to two women. After it was over one of them said, "Phew....I feel like I need a cigarette."
Ahh...good times.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Video Vault
I've been meaning to post these for a while but haven't gotten around to it. They were pointed out to me recently. I'm sure many people have already seen them. If not...enjoy. And if you have...they're worth another look.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Que sera
It snowed in Bozeman this past weekend. Yeehaw! Despite previous ramblings on this blog about a love of summer...I truly am I four-season kind of guy. I had an amazing summer. But I'm ready for the snow to fly. I want to strap on my snowboard and get on the mountain. Bring it on Mama Nature.
Thanks to everyone who offered words of encouragement after my last blog entry. I appreciate it. I really do worry too much. I don't know how many times I've worried about something, and then eventually, things...just...worked...out. You'd think I'd learn from past experience. Nope. Whenever there's turmoil I just want my puny little brain to make sense of it IMMEDIATELY.
I think I've discovered the root cause of all my inner discombobulation. While I want to find a new job, I don't want to be kicked out of my old one. I was afraid of the timing not working out. Hopefully, that will be resolved this week. I talked things over with my managers and we reached a tentative agreement. Now it just has to be set in stone. I feel good about it. I'm not so anxious anymore.
As for the job hunt...still only two bites. I'm still evaluating them. No hurry though.
On a side note...I made roasted asparagus with goat cheese, bacon, and sauteed mushrooms tonight. Delicious.
Thanks to everyone who offered words of encouragement after my last blog entry. I appreciate it. I really do worry too much. I don't know how many times I've worried about something, and then eventually, things...just...worked...out. You'd think I'd learn from past experience. Nope. Whenever there's turmoil I just want my puny little brain to make sense of it IMMEDIATELY.
I think I've discovered the root cause of all my inner discombobulation. While I want to find a new job, I don't want to be kicked out of my old one. I was afraid of the timing not working out. Hopefully, that will be resolved this week. I talked things over with my managers and we reached a tentative agreement. Now it just has to be set in stone. I feel good about it. I'm not so anxious anymore.
As for the job hunt...still only two bites. I'm still evaluating them. No hurry though.
On a side note...I made roasted asparagus with goat cheese, bacon, and sauteed mushrooms tonight. Delicious.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Scrambled Intuition
I hate inner turmoil.
On one level I recognize that it's good for us. It challenges us. It helps us to grow. It teaches us things we didn't know about ourselves; all good things...but it doesn't make GOING through it any easier.
The job hunt has taken a turn. I should probably describe it as a "turn for the better" but I'm not so sure. The fact that it's become "real" and filled with distinct possibilities is more than a little frightening. I've applied for 25 jobs across the country. I got two bites near the end of last week. The specifics aren't important right now. Things will play out over the next little while and I'll just have to see where they go. The big problem for me is what these prospects have done for my mental state.
I don't like it when I can't figure things out. I don't know whether my reluctance to leave Montana is some deep part of my soul telling me I should stay here....or simply a fear of change. It's making me question everything I thought I knew about the paths we take in life. Although not very religious, I've always felt guided in a certain way. I've always just assumed the places I ended up were where I was supposed to be. My intuition (a higher power if you will) has given me accurate directions. As a result, I've assumed I could decipher what my intuition was telling me. I'm not so sure anymore. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision. That fear is compounded when I consider my decision-making track record. For the past 6 years it's been very good. I don't want to screw up the winning streak.
I'm trying as hard as I can to process everything. I don't know if it's working. Just wish me luck.
On one level I recognize that it's good for us. It challenges us. It helps us to grow. It teaches us things we didn't know about ourselves; all good things...but it doesn't make GOING through it any easier.
The job hunt has taken a turn. I should probably describe it as a "turn for the better" but I'm not so sure. The fact that it's become "real" and filled with distinct possibilities is more than a little frightening. I've applied for 25 jobs across the country. I got two bites near the end of last week. The specifics aren't important right now. Things will play out over the next little while and I'll just have to see where they go. The big problem for me is what these prospects have done for my mental state.
I don't like it when I can't figure things out. I don't know whether my reluctance to leave Montana is some deep part of my soul telling me I should stay here....or simply a fear of change. It's making me question everything I thought I knew about the paths we take in life. Although not very religious, I've always felt guided in a certain way. I've always just assumed the places I ended up were where I was supposed to be. My intuition (a higher power if you will) has given me accurate directions. As a result, I've assumed I could decipher what my intuition was telling me. I'm not so sure anymore. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision. That fear is compounded when I consider my decision-making track record. For the past 6 years it's been very good. I don't want to screw up the winning streak.
I'm trying as hard as I can to process everything. I don't know if it's working. Just wish me luck.
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