Change of course?

I packed up my life and moved to Montana in the summer of 2002. At the time, I thought it would be a 4-month long diversion from life. Long story short...4 months turned into 4 years. Plenty of people thought I was crazy. That bothered me a little but I found comfort in two things: the fact I was having a kick-ass time and the knowledge that I was doing what was right for me. I took a major detour and I felt good about it.

I figured that would be the end of it. I left the seasonal world more than 4 years ago and jumped into the world of TV news. Overall, it's been a very good experience. I've learned a lot. I've been validated many times. I enjoy what I do. That is why the prospect of another detour seems so unbelievably terrifying. But that's exactly what I'm thinking about. Another detour. I can't get it out of my head.

I've been a mess for the past few weeks. I really have. I wake up to heated arguments already blazing in my head. I go to bed with the same.

Do it. Don't do it.

Dive in. Step in.

Rational. Irrational.

Too old. Age is a number.

Crazy. Sane.

Risk. Reward.

It's killing me. I've had desires to do things before and I've never gone full throttle because there just didn't seem to be a way. But no matter what, I can't look at this like that. I've tried. The rational part of me has tried to be pragmatic and cautious. It's not working. I've got an itch to do something and I'm starting to think the only thing I can do is scratch it.

The question now is to what degree. I love news. I always will. But I've gotten bored and unsatisfied. There's every likelihood that a new job would reinvigorate me and shove these latest inklings to the corner of my mind. But I'm not even sure I want that to happen. There's also the not-so-minor detail of actually finding a new job.

A few of you might be asking, "What the hell does he want to do?"

I'll tell you...and that, in itself, is a big step.

I'm thinking about going back to school to study acting and theater.

Yeah, yeah...I'd raise one eyebrow too. There are major issues to work through. Location. Cost. Etc. But I've always had an interest in it. It's just that news has always trumped it. I've started to wonder if it can be trumped anymore.