Yesterday? Last night?

I've been working the graveyard shift for nearly 3 full weeks now. In two words...it sucks.

I didn't know what to expect. I've worked overnights before but never on a semi-permanent basis. In the times I did do it, I just powered through (occasionally napping when I shouldn't have) and got back to my regular schedule when I could. I can't do that anymore. I'm stuck on this schedule for at least the next two months...possibly three. I've seen what it does to people. From observation I thought my biggest problem was going to be lack of sleep. That's actually not the case. I guess I've learned to do without sleep over the past two and half years. Working early mornings will do that. The biggest problem for me is the blending of days and nights.

Terms like "yesterday" and "last night" don't mean the same thing anymore. I don't even know what "yesterday" means. Yeah, I worked last night...and by "last night" I mean early in the morning. It's all too confusing. It's effing me up psychologically. Morning is supposed to be the start of a new day. Not for me. I'm heading home to go to bed. Evening is supposed to be the time for winding down and getting ready for bed. Nope. I'm driving on a deserted freeway to work in an empty building with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.

As far as actual work goes...it's okay. I expected worse. I'm continually hoping for better...and a good night's sleep...at night...when it's dark...and everyone else is sleeping.

Okay. I'm done.