Thursday, November 30, 2006

Family Time

It is time, once again, for the annual Graves family Christmas extravaganza.

No, that's not the official name. I just came up with that. I'll be heading home to SLC tomorrow for our big family Christmas party. (But Utah standards my extended family is not large. My grandma had seven children. By other standards, some are convinced I belong to a polygamous enclave. And while, on a side note, I am connected to polygamy like every other person in Utah...my extended family is not made up of polygamists. Just so you know.

I'm excited to see everyone. I haven't been to one of these in a few years. I know by the end of it I'll be looking at aunts, uncles, and cousins and wondering how in the world I'm related to such oddballs...but hey...they're family and I love 'em.

It will be a quick visit but I hope to catch up with a few friends. I will of course be having an Olive Garden dinner with Ms. Kathryn. I'll be hoping against hope that Chocolate Lasagna has returned to the menu...even though I know, deep down, that isn't the case. Poor me.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

What a jerk?

I'm referring to myself. Whether it was via text message, MySpace comment, phone call, email, actual letter or blog reference, I received many Thanksgiving salutations. And did I respond? No. (well except for the personal interactions and phone calls in which I sort of had to say something back). I'm not a mean person. I was just lazy. I figured, "I'll wish them well a little later." But I never did. So I'm scolding myself publicly and apologizing for not responding to the well wishers. Sorry.

On to other tidbits:
Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I'm not a football fan. I've never cared about it and I barely know how the game is played. BUT...believe it or not, I've gotten into lately. It all started with going to a Bobcat (Montana State University) Football game in our station's company suite. The free food and alcohol helped me enjoy things but as I went to each game week after week, I started to get into the game. Then when MSU played their arch rival in Missoula, UM, I watched on TV. And then, yesterday at the Bobcat playoff game, I was cheering with the best of 'em as they crushed the competition. I even called home to see how my alma mater, the U of U was fairing against BYU. (Although I was saddened at the Utes' loss I was disappointed that I had missed what was apparently a very good game). The moral of the story: I probably won't be watching NFL football anytime soon, but I have a new appreciation for football.

Did I tell everyone that my former co-anchor Melissa already got promoted at the station she works for in Oklahoma City. She's now the noon and 4 pm anchor Monday thru Friday. I may have mentioned that already but I want to show you these pictures of her station's new set.


I'm a bit of a TV news geek so I may be the only one who cares...but this is an awesome news set. "Sexy," as Melissa put it. I couldn't agree more. Although my station's humble little news set is pretty nice for small-market television...I can't wait to sit with the big boys at the grown-ups table.

I'm in a coffee shop right now and there's a girl across the room with quite possibly the most annoying laugh....ever. It's loud, not at all infectious and several people are cringing. Just thought I'd share.

Big issues at work these days. It's not appropriate for me to delve into them but I'm really annoyed. I'm not perfect but I feel like one of the few sensible ones. All I want is to be given the tools needed to do my job and to stop being treated like a child. Is that so much to ask?

Snow moved into Bozeman last night. I was on call so I was downtown filming the scene. It was picure perfect. A scene from a postcard. The snow falling lightly. Children running up and down Main Street in their coats. Not too cold. Everyone having a good time. It's those moments when I really like winter.

Happy Holidays everyone. Cherish that greeting because I don't hand them out very often.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

"Scattered throughout the nation like candy from a pinata."

That's the expression used by my dear friend Katie to describe where her friends are. I'm in the same boat as Katie for I was a seasonal worker for 4 wonderful years. And while it's cool to have all those friends in all parts of the country (and the world for that matter)....it's also a little sad. We see so little of each other. For a time, we were together 24/7 while working in our respective seasonal jobs. Then...when the season's over, the reality of life sets in. We all must go our separate ways and wait for the chance meetings that occur because so and so is passing through so and so. (Just this past weekend, Heidi passed through Bozeman).

I can't complain too much. I'd rather know these people while they live in Texas, Missouri, or Oregon...than never have known them at all.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

All Stars!!!

I have a new obsession. And I suppose I'd better get my fix because this one isn't going to stick around for much longer.

During a sleepless night this past weekend I happened upon Food Network's All Star Thanksgiving Special. All of the network's biggest stars (Emeril, Rachel Ray, etc.) cook a dish of their choosing in their own kitchens. Then...at the end of the show they all come together and show off their creations.

I have no idea why but I was....entranced. Seeing Emeril give an excited Paula (the southern grandma type lady) some alcoholic sorbet made me giggle.

I certainly don't cook. But I love the Food Network. And seeing everyone on there together in one kitchen made me happy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop a HotPocket into the microwave and have lunch.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

True or False?

I don't usually do these but I kinda liked this one. So here ya go. Copy and do it for your own blog.

TRUE OR FALSE
Appearance:
I'm short: False
I have scars: True
I tan easily: True
I burn easily: False
I wish my hair was a different color: False
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: False
I wear glasses or contacts: True
I'm legally blind without them: Extremely close to true.
I have 5 or more piercing: False
I have/had piercing in places besides my ears: False

Relationships:
I miss someone right now: False
I've gotten divorced: False
I've had a crush on a teacher: True
I've hugged a stranger: True
I like my bubble: True

Embarrassment:
I've laughed so hard I've cried: True
I've glued my hand to something: False
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose: True...it was milk.
I've had my pants rip/drop in public: False
I was born with a disease/impairment: False
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend: True
I've had my wisdom teeth removed: True...It was awful
I've had a serious surgery: False
I've had chicken pox: True

Experiences:
I've gotten lost in a city: True
I've seen a shooting star: True
I've wished on a shooting star: True
I've gone out in public in my pajamas: True
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator: True
I've been to a casino: True
I've been skydiving: True
I've played spin the bottle: True
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour: False....who does that?
I've been in a car crash: True...not a serious one though.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue: True
I've sat on a roof top at night: True
I've played chicken: False
I've played a prank on someone: True
I've ridden in a taxi: True
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show: False
I've eaten Sushi: True...I don't consider it real food.

Random:
I own something from Hot Topic: False
I own something I got on E-Bay: true
I own something from Abercrombie: True
I own something from American Eagle: True
I own something from Anchor Blue: False

More Random:
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant: False
I watch the news: True
I curse regularly: Okay, okay it's true.
I sing in the shower: True
I'm a morning person: Ha ha! False.
I have listened to more than 30 CD's in a day: False
I've worn pajamas to school: False
I know how to shoot a gun: I have before but probably false.
I laugh at my own jokes: Sad...but true.
I am really ticklish: True
I play video games: False
I'm good at remembering names: False

Monday, November 13, 2006

Lost...Found Again

I've jumped back on the bandwagon.

It's been about a year since I stopped keeping track of the television show Lost. I started my new job and all TV viewing sort of fell by the wayside.

But I was inspired this weekend to play a little catch-up. I was in the video store when I saw Season 2 on the shelves. "Why not?," I thought.

So now I'm in the middle of Season 2. I'll probably have to wait until this season appears on DVD in another year but whatever.

I'm just happy to be back. What a damn good show.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

A Long Week

It has been a long, tiring, and exhausting week. I am so happy this election season is over.

I've said before that I hate politics. I still do. But my excitement always builds on Election Night. This past Tuesday was my first real Election Night coverage as a broadcast journalist. It was awesome. It was a fly by the seat of my pants, non-stop 4 hours of live coverage. Yes...4 hours. We were on the air from 10 p.m to 2 a.m. To be fair, I played a fairly minor role. Our coverage was a regional newscast originating from Missoula. The main anchors there carried the show and they tossed to us, reporters across the state, for live coverage when they needed it. It went well. I was tired and exhausted...but I had so much fun. It was also a big deal for us considering the big role Montana's Senate race played on the national scene. NBC even used our reporters for national live shots. What a night.

In other news...big flooding at my home away from home.

It's hard to tell from this picture but water poured into the ground floor of the Many Glacier Hotel. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love this building. I basically lived there for 4 summers. I haven't heard how bad the damage is but the lake rose several feet...more than enough to flood the building. Going-to-the-Sun road was also washed out in several places. It's the worst flooding in the park in about 100 years.

That's all for now. Two more weeks of November Sweeps and I have another short vacation coming to me. Woohoo!!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Vote

I'll make this brief.

I don't care who you vote for today.

Just vote.

And if you decide not to...don't bitch when things don't turn out your way.

If you don't vote...you don't have the right to an opinion on how things turned out.

Go vote now.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Identity

When meeting new people I usually share the following tidbits about myself.

1. I am a news anchor.
2. I'm from Utah.
3. I live in, and love, Montana.
4. I worked in Glacier National Park for 4 summers.

That's it. Tonight, I'm realizing that I'm a fairly lame person. Isn't there anything more to me? Don't I have more of an identity? Apparently I don't.

I need more of a life.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Little Annoyances

I'm not necessarily in a bad mood but...I'm annoyed.

My glasses broke recently. The frame, right around the top of the lens, just snapped. I really liked those glasses. Now I'm wearing my backup pair. They suck. I hate the way they look. The lenses are scratched. The prescription isn't quite strong enough. And now I have to go through the process of getting new glasses. I hate that. Getting an eye exam, picking out frames, paying for the damn things, and of course getting used to a new pair. I always get headaches when I get a new pair. Annoying.

November Sweeps is here. For those who don't know, it's a big time in television. Networks put on their best programming. Local news outlets do their best special stories. That means I'm busy. Very busy. Thankfully, Thanksgiving (no pun intended) is right around the corner. That's when my hectic schedule will slow down a bit. Annoying.

I have the teeth of a 90-year-old. I'm not kidding. I went to the dentist yesterday for a check-up and cleaning. I apparently grind my teeth so badly, in the daytime and nighttime, that my teeth are severely worn down. My gums are healthy. The teeth themselves are generally healthy. But I was told, and I quote, "Lincoln. This is the worst case of wear I've seen in a 26-year-old. Those teeth should be in a 90-year-old's mouth." Well thank you very much. I didn't realize I was such a decrepit old man. Depressing. I guess I'll be getting a nightguard soon. Although I tried that once and it didn't work out. I would take it out in my sleep. I think it eventually broke. We'll see though. I have another appointment next week to fill the two cavities he discovered. Icing on the cake and....Annoying.

No...I don't have direct deposit. And if one more person looks at me with an astonished "why not?" look, I'm going to punch them in the face. I LIKE going to the bank. I LIKE depositing part of my check and getting cash for the other part of it. True, that makes me the ONLY person in the office actually needing and looking for my paycheck on payday. I'm the only one who's frustrated when they don't show up for some reason. And when that happens someone will inevitably say, "you should get direct deposit." Shut up. I don't want it! "Well then don't complain when your check doesn't arrive on time." Again...shut up. I will complain and I have every right to complain. It's my company's responsibility to make sure my check gets to me on time. Now leave me alone. You are becoming...Annoying.

I'm not going to elaborate on this one but...for the record...I AM NOT A WEATHERMAN. Not that there's anything wrong with meteorologists. I'm just not one. And yet some still think I forecast the weather. Annoying.

Politics. I don't want to see any more political ads. I don't want to see any more campaign signs. I don't want to interview any more politicians. Political season...is....Annoying.

And I'm probably annoying you. So I'll shut up and stop whining...for now.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

For Mom

During my last visit home, my mom asked me if I had brought pictures of my new apartment. I didn't. I told her I'd go back to Bozeman, take some, and then post them on the blog. So here you go mom....and anyone else who cares.


The Living Room

The Kitchen

The Bedroom

And the best part...a view of the Bridgers from my bedroom window

Sunday, October 22, 2006

A Better Attitude

I've whined a lot about winter on this blog and I feel a little bad about that. I've always loved winter. Where did that love go? I'm not exactly sure. But I woke up this morning, saw the mountains covered with freshly fallen snow, and vowed to get excited about winter again. So I went on a short hike. Here are some highlights.

It was a good hike. I'm excited about winter again. The snowboarding. The crisp air. The way freshly fallen snow muffles all sounds. The beauty of snow-covered mountains. I'm ready for it. I know I'll be sick of the cold by February but I figure I'll try to embrace winter and just go with the flow. Who's with me?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Bad coffee?

Here's the scenario:

On Sunday evening I went to my favorite Bozeman coffee shop, Rockford Coffee. I ordered a non-fat, Irish Cream latte and hopped on the internet for 45 minutes. I slowly nursed my latte the entire time. I wrapped things up and headed back to my apartment for a night of TV watching. Within 15 minutes of sitting on the couch my insides started to squirm. I quickly developed the chills and body aches crept over me. It wasn't long before I felt like I had to vomit. So...vomit I did. Afterwards I crawled into bed and spent a sleepless night tossing and turning.

I woke up the next morning feeling weak. My stomach was feeling better but I had no appetite. I tried to determine what caused my night of sickness and the only conclusion I could reach...bad coffee. But can coffee do that to someone? Was it the milk? I have no idea.

I haven't felt 100% all week. Yesterday I felt like someone was squeezing my head from all sides. I couldn't get rid of the pressure. To top that off, I walked around all day light-headed. Today is treating me a little better. (although I'm feeling slightly queasy eating a plain bagel with cream cheese and raspberry jam right now). Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I'm skeptical of one latte kicking my ass. And yet...I don't know that I'll touch any type of coffee ever again. I think I've developed a coffee aversion by merely speculating that it could have made me sick. I think of coffee now and I get queasy.

I guess it's a good thing. I've been spending way too much money on lattes anyway.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Hoodwinked

I don't like being tricked.

That said, I feel as though I was manipulated into seeing "Man of the Year," the new Robin Williams movie. How was I tricked you ask?....by the damn movie trailer.

I saw the preview a couple weeks ago and thought it would be a funny movie to see. It wasn't. I'm all for carefully structured movie trailers where the entire plot isn't given away. I am NOT for a trailer that completely misrepresents what the movie is about.

Despite this tirade, I really did like "Man of the Year." I recommend everyone go see it. BUT...if you're expecting a comedy you will be disappointed. There are funny moments but this movie is definitely not a comedy. It's more of a conspiracy minded drama. Just be warned.

I wouldn't even be complaining about it had I not been in the mood to laugh last night. That's all I wanted. A good laugh. I didn't get that. So despite the fact I DID like the film, I can't help feeling gypped.

I was tricked...and I don't like being tricked.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

A Re-Posting

I've chosen to re-post one of my blog entries for two reasons. One...I'm lazy and I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to write anything. I'd call it writer's block but it's really nothing of the sort. Two...it's been on my mind lately. In recent weeks, I've had several conversations about Mormonism. Sometimes it's hard to articulate myself in these conversations. I feel the following post best exemplifies how I feel about the Mormon religion.

I first posted this on March 20, 2006. Title: Mormonism

Ahh the Mormons. I am one and I'm not one. It all depends on how you look at. I almost prefer to look at Mormons as a race of people. I'm certainly not a Mormon in practice. However in a cultural sense, I will always be a part of the race. I've got Mormon blood in me. But like a lot of people who feel conflicted about their relationship with a certain group, I myself have a love-hate relationship with Mormonism.

I don't go to church anymore. I don't want to and I don't feel guilty about it. I'm just way too liberal for such a conservative religion. I think abortion should be legal. I believe gay people should be allowed to tie the knot if they so wish. I don't see a problem with premarital sex. I enjoy my Irish Cream cappucinos and I think a beer or a glass of wine are acceptable beverages. My views don't mesh well with Mormon teachings.

And yet...

I don't want to be known as a former Mormon. I don't want my name removed from membership rolls. There's something comforting about being a part (even if I don't play the part) of such a unique and often mis-understood crowd. There's something rebellious and satisfying about telling new friends that I have polygamy in my family. I can walk into any Mormon church in the world and know that help is waiting for me if I need it. I can still walk the grounds of Temple Square and feel a tremendous sense of peace.

And yet...

I can be critical of "The Church." I can roll my eyes at that whole priesthood revelation of the late 1970's. I can snort when young Mormons refuse to see a movie because it's rated "R." I can cringe with embarassment when I explain the whole "undergarments" thing to Mormonism rookies.

And yet....

I'm the first to defend "The Church" when someone makes fun of it. I get exasperated when the ignorant try and tell me Mormons still practice polygamy. I can get irate when someone tries to tell me that Mormons aren't Christians. I can tell the story of Joe Smith and what he's all about and I get frustrated when the listener's eyebrow raises and they say, "What is this crap?"

I don't particularly understand my relationship with Mormonism. Am I believer? Probably not. I'm at a place now where I feel more personally connected with God than at any other time in my life. I got there by doing my own thing...not following Mormon doctrine. But Mormonism isn't just a faith to me. It's a culture. Sometimes that culture is too conservative and over-bearing. But I know that if I ever turn to it for help...I will be received with open arms; even if I do see things a little differently than they do.

But I suppose my relationship with Mormonism is a bit like my view on religion in general. We're all individuals and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. That's how I see things. That's why I'll understand those who faithfully follow that Mormon lifestyle just the same as those who shun it with ridicule. Believe what you want to believe. I'm in the middle and I'm happy staying there.

Friday, October 06, 2006

What is News?

Hatchfest is a cool film/arts festival that takes place in Bozeman every October. Yesterday I had the honor of participating (in a very minor role) in a panel entitled "Journalism: Telling Stories that Inspire." The real guests of honor were some producers, reporters, and anchors from CNN, CNBC, and other national media outlets. The discussion turned towards the state of today's media. While not attacking any media reps personally, there was definitely an anti-media diatribe coming from the audience. I understand all the complaints and criticism. Sometimes it's hard for me to refute them. But I will say this: News has changed. Everything IS news. I grew up watching newscasts that contained stories about school shootings AND celebrity break-ups. I'm not defending coverage of either topic. I'm just saying that that's what news has become. Is that a bad thing? I don't know. Regardless of the subject matter, those of us in the media are still telling "stories." We're storytellers. Sometimes the story is about a crazed gunmen who shoots 5 little Amish girls. And sometimes the story is about TomKat. Love it or hate it...that's what "news" is these days. I'm okay with that.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Halloween Memories

I used to be freakishly obsessed with Halloween. Just ask my old neighbors.

I believe it started in my early teen years one October. I was looking through the garage and found a very old prosthetic leg that somehow ended up in storage. I proudly planted that leg upside down in the garden in front of our house. Then I nailed two pieces of wood together, wrote "Danger - Quicksand" on my new sign and placed it near the leg. With that, my Halloween decoration obsession was born.

A 13-year-old's attempt at outdoor decorating can be pretty feeble. And although all my decorations have been very low-budget, my displays got more impressive over the years.

I did all kinds of things for my craft. I stole cornstalks from nearby farms. I made headstones out of huge pieces of styrofoam. I saved stacks and stacks of newspapers to crumple up, stuff inside some clothes, and bring dummies to life. Here's an old picture of my nieces and nephews surrounding one dummy.

And over the years, my displays became more elaborate. The neighbors loved it all. Even when it got a little grotesque. (I'm sure a few people were put off by the dummy impaled on a 25 foot pole in the front yard.)

But, like many childhood obsessions, my Halloween fixation has faded. I don't really care anymore. Perhaps I'll get back into one day if and when I have kids. I don't know. For now I can only muster up the energy to hang a skull from my rear-view mirror. It's a sad reminder of what I would have done years ago.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Malicious Intent

Do you remember the Rhode Island nightclub fire back in 2003? 100 people died and 200 more were injured. The clubs owners, two brothers, were sentenced today. One of them got 4 years in prison. The other got probation. They'll both have to complete countless hours of community service. Earlier this year, the third person involved, was also sentenced to 4 years in prison. Family members of the victims were, and still are, outraged at the light sentences. I, however, am not.

I've thought long and hard about this aspect of crime and punishment. How should you punish someone who commits a "crime" but had no malicious intent? What is the appropriate sentence for an accident?

First, a disclaimer: I've never lost a loved one to any type of crime. I don't know what it feels like. But my opinions on crime and punishment haven't changed much. I've always gravitated towards a more forgiving approach. I still do...especially when it comes to accidental crimes. (Pre-meditated crimes are a different story and I won't delve into that now).

I feel as much sympathy for those two nightclub owners as I do for the victims' family members. I know people were lost. But those responsible do not deserve to spend 10, 15, 20 years in prison. They never dreamed of hurting anyone. And for most, the weight on their conscience will have more of an effect on them than any lengthy prison term.

I don't know that I have a point. I just wanted to share my opinion. I don't know if that opinion would change if I was affected personally by a tragedy. I'd like to think my forgiving attitude would triumph. Hopefully I'll never have to test the theory out.

Monday, September 25, 2006

OVERLOAD!!!

I have so much to say, so much to write about, and so much to contemplate. My head's about to burst.

First of all, I enjoyed my trip back home. I'll be heading back to Montana on Tuesday afternoon. (Fortunately the vacation's not over. I'll spend the rest of the week in glorious Glacier). It was fun but it was stressful. I always stretch myself too thin when I come home. Everyone wants to see you and everyone wants you to spend time with them. So, in an effort to please everyone, I end up pleasing no one. It was overwhelming. And to everyone I wasn't able to hang out with...I'm sorry. Perhaps we'll have more time together if and when I live in this city permanently. (It also would have been nice to meet some of you blogspt acquaintances out there and share a cup of coffee. Alas, that's for the future.) Moral of the story. Keep it simple when you're on vacation. You'll thank yourself later.

My sister is evil. I went to the restaurant where she worked and she guilt-tripped me into ordering a drink called the Death Star. It's huge and it contains a lot of alcohol. It is tasty but WAY too much for me.

I miss my cat. Lame, I know. But I do. My parents just don't have the time or energy to look after him in the same way I did for so long. He's gotten so fat. He's not very active...and that's saying something for an animal that normally sleeps 23 hours a day. I want to take him home to Bozeman with me. But I can't have pets in my apartment. It's sad. I just get the feeling that he's depressed and there's nothing I can do about it. Does this mean I'd be a bad parent?

I watched a little TV when I was home. I'll agree with urban princess and say ABC does have some damn good shows. I'm a fan of Brothers & Sisters. Luckily for me, it's on Sunday night's so I'll be able to watch. (On a side note: Here's a strange little TV news fact that no one will care about. Some TV stations have started to have their main anchor teams work Sunday through Thursday nights because of primetime line-ups. In essence, Fridays are being abandoned.)

Every family has drama and mine is no exception. I'm not one to air dirty laundry though. Let's just say there are issues that I only discovered in coming home for a little while. We'll get through it just fine though. In thinking about it all for the past few days I've only reached one heartfelt conclusion: Sometimes it's hard to love troubled people...and yet it's the troubled ones that need the most love. That answers no questions. I just believe it's an over-arching theme to keep in mind when dealing with familial issues.

Kathryn and I did what we normally do when we get together. We went to The Olive Garden. I've expressed disgust at what was done with my favorite OG dessert. After complaining, the company basically said, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Here's a gift card to find a new favorite." I attempted to do just that. I'm still not happy. The two new dessert items could be found anywhere at ANY restaurant. Chocolate Lasagna was unique. It was special. No one else had anything like it. And now it's gone...to be replaced by drab concoctions that Applebee's, TGIFriday's, or Chili's could come up with. I'm sorely disappointed. (I did like the new pasta dish I tried. :)

I've been eating like a pig since I've been home. Frankly, I don't care.

"Wow Lincoln. That's so cool that you're doing something you've always wanted to do. You've followed your dream." Countless people have expressed that to me ever since I started my job as a news anchor....and there was a new round of congratulations during my visit home. But I'm not quite sure how to respond when people say that. In my head I'm thinking, "yeah...it is pretty cool. What about you?" When people comment on me landing my "dream job" they do so with an air of wistfulness...as if they themselves can't follow their own dreams. There's a lot I'd like to say about this but for now, I'll keep it brief. I realize we all live under our own set of circumstances. But dammit people, if you have dreams...go for them. You'll come out better in the end.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Home sweet home

I arrived in the city by the salty lake on Friday afternoon.

Say what you will about Utah, it's capital city, or the many Mormons who live therein but I happen to like this place. I've missed it.

In driving around the past day or so, I'm overwhelmed at how big this city is. I realize it's because I've spent so much time in "remote" areas the past 5 years. Bozeman seems like a quaint little village compared to Salt Lake. Yet life in Bozeman seems like life in the "city" compared to living in national parks. It's all very strange. I find it exhilarating. I find it depressing. I find it vibrant. I find it crowded. I find it welcoming. I find it scary. I guess I just don't know what to think of it.

There is one aspect of city life that terrifies me. It's the ability to get lost. I'm not speaking directionally. I can find my way around almost anywhere. By lost, I mean overlooked. Cities seem like they can swallow a person. Individuality is lost. The mass of people that dwell within the city is just that....a mass. One person is inconsequential. I don't like feeling inconsequential.

My fears are a little absurd. Most of us have connections with people that make us feel needed and appreciated. I, myself, have my entire family in Salt Lake so I don't know that I'd ever feel "swallowed" in this town. But what about those lonely souls who don't have anybody? To me, they appear more lost and forgotten within a big city.

And I'm only talking about Salt Lake. I may feel even more discouraged if I went to New York.

BUT...I still like being home. A huge part of me wants to live in Salt Lake forever. For now though, I'll just be content with my short visit. Mom and Dad are happy to see me. My cat purrs happily in my lap. The dusted Wasatch Mountains feel welcome and comforting.

It's good to be home.