Unseen Horizons

Dear Boise,

It's not you, it's me. I know that's a horrible cliche to refer to when loosening ties with someone...but it's true. You're cute. You're charming. You're vibrant. You provide a quality of life that most people across the country probably don't experience. You're filled with good, honest people who love you for what you give them...a wonderful place to call home. In all honesty, I can't find a single thing wrong with you. So why would I want to break up with you? I already told you why. It's not you. It's me. That's all I can say. I'm sorry.

Love, Lincoln

I've had a lot on my mind the past several months. I haven't really opened up, on this blog at least, because things were muddled. They still are. But I need to flesh out my thoughts and this seems like the perfect place to do it. I have no immediate plans to leave Boise. My contract is up in a couple months. I've been looking around for new opportunities but they're either few and far between or the competition for them is insanely intense. I'm assuming I have the option to stay at my current job and negotiate a new contract. If that turns out to be true...do I want to do that? There's something to be said for simply "having a job" during times like these. But I wrote that letter to Boise for a reason. I feel like I need to move on. It's time. Coming here was the right thing to do. I learned a lot. I grew a lot. But I'm ready for the next step. But therein lies the problem. What is the next step? I have no idea.

This all made harder when you see people around you taking their next step. This is a picture of myself and my co-anchor Mellisa. We hosted the Miss Idaho Pageant last summer. Mellisa is leaving Boise for a new TV job in Sacramento. She deserves it and I'm very happy for her. But, so far in this business, she is my longest running TV wife. It's sad to see her go. I've always hated watching other people move on. It was a little different when I was in Bozeman. Out of all my closest friends there, I was the first to leave. That's sad as well, but in a different way. Mellisa leaves behind Michelle and I. She's my other co-anchor.

Michelle's future is uncertain too. No matter where she ends up and when she ends up there, she's moving forward in big ways. For starters, she's getting married this year. It's just another example of people around me "moving on." I feel stuck.

So there you have it. There are big changes going on around me. It'd be nice to be a part of them...but I feel left out. And even though I'd like to move forward....I'm not even sure where I want to go. It's no secret the broadcasting business is struggling. Jobs are scarce. Salaries have taken a nosedive. The future looks bleak. That just adds more fuel to this already confusing fire.

Oh, and let's not forget one other important thing. I turn 30 this year. My birthday is just under three months away. It's a big milestone. I'd love to feel confident, put-together, and comfortable in my own skin on such a big day. Instead, I'm on my way feeling like a lost mess.

Happy New Year.