Remnants

I like to experience a little bit of nature on Independence Day. It seems appropriate. One of the greatest things about America is her natural beauty. Why not take it in on her birthday? So I took a little hike yesterday morning. I went to Bozeman for the weekend and hiked up to the "M" on the side of Baldy Mountain. It's a nice spot to look over the Gallatin Valley...or more specifically, Bozeman.

It was a good way to start the July 4th holiday. But I have to confess that I felt a strange uneasiness from the moment I drove in to the Bozeman area. It wasn't the place I knew. It wasn't the place I remembered. It wasn't the place I thought I loved so much. At first, I couldn't figure out why I felt so weird about being there. Besides a few new buildings, restaurants, and stores that have popped up...it looks pretty much the same. Not only that, I was there at what is arguably the most beautiful time of the year...when it's warm outside and everything is still green. But I still felt like a stranger in a place where I didn't think that was possible.

I thought things over on my drive home today. Here's my conclusion: there are very few remnants of my existence there. Here's my theory: without anything to tie you there...even a once familiar place can seem foreign.

I still know several people in Bozeman. But by the end of this summer, all of my closest friends will have left. Most of them are already gone. I only caught up with two people on this trip. There was no one else chat with. Just being there felt...lonely. I lived there for nearly 2.5 years. But now I realize my roots didn't run very deep. Outside of the TV news world, I didn't have any good friends. I'm not saying I regret things. I'm not sure it could have turned out any differently. Being in Bozeman was much more about learning the ropes of a new job and a new way of life. It wasn't about entrenching myself in the community. I think it was the same scenario for most of my TV friends. They were in the same boat as I was. Bozeman was simply a gathering place for all of us. It only provided a little context for the life we were all living. I don't think I love it any less. It is a beautiful town with amazing people. But before I go there again, I need to realize I'm going as nothing but a visitor.

I've wrote about a "sense of place" many times on this blog. Most of those writings involve Montana or Glacier National Park in some fashion. But it's taken me time to realize that my connection to a particular place is directly tied to the people I knew there. Going back to Glacier every year can still feel like "coming home." But that's only because many of my friends are still there. They are what made my experience so great.

People make the place. I found that out this weekend. Without the people...even a once loved place can seem...uncomfortable.