Dream Deferred

Here I come New York!!!!

That's what I'd like to be saying right now. But I can't...at least not yet. Let me lay it all out for you.

I did a lot of research on the New York Conservatory of Dramatic Arts. I heard good things. I heard bad things. Overall, my impression was favorable. I think I'd have a good time there. I think I'd learn a lot. I think two years in New York would be a pretty incredible experience. But it would be so...so...expensive.

I haven't been too honest with what this little adventure would cost. I've just said it would be a lot of money. But let me be upfront. Factoring in tuition, insurance, housing, and living expenses...I'd be looking at $80,000 over two years. The ONLY way to pay would be with student loans. I have great credit. I'm sure I could easily get the money. But paying it back seems daunting. I ran the numbers through several different loan repayment calculators I found online. Depending on how many years I chose to repay the loan...I'm looking at an average of $15,000 in interest costs. I'm also looking at a recommended annual salary of, on average, $80,000 to help in repayment. Yikes.

There are many variables. I know that. I could find a job in NYC to help pay the bills. I could try and live with friends. I could even graduate, get a starring movie role, make a million dollars and things would be just peachy. But there are no guarantees. I'm not afraid to take a leap of faith. I'm not afraid of risk. I'm not afraid of tackling something new and uncharted. But in this case, the price is just too high.

Here's the good news...

Whether acting turns out to be a passion or a hobby, there are countless ways for me to explore it. Luckily, there's not one acting school in one city that EVERYONE tries to get into. There are a lot of opportunities out there. I'm a strong advocate for pursuing a dream. At the same time, I realize I'm closing a door on one of mine. But I'm at peace with it only because I know it's just one door. Sometimes there are many ways to get to the finish line. This is one of those cases. I like acting. I'm interested in it. I'll explore it some way, in some fashion, some time in the near future.

For now...I have a car to pay off. I've got some credit card debt I need to take care of. I also have a $20,000 dental bill bearing down on me in the next few years. But more than all of that, I'm still in a business that I love, despite recent frustrations. I'm going to see where that takes me first.

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me and supported me in this. It still might happen...just not this year.