Settling in

Three full weeks in Portland.

Two full weeks at the new job.

One full week in my new apartment.

Things are...okay. I'm not miserable. I'm not euphoric. I'm decent. I honestly couldn't ask for anything better. Adjustment is never easy. It's never as bad as some people think either. It's just a matter of..."doing."

Some people have told me that they like my writing. They say they have been entertained and intrigued by my blog. Most of the time, I don't see it. There will be an occasional blog entry that I look back on and think, "hmm...that was pretty good." But I'm not usually that impressed with the words I "put down on paper." I am, however, always finding some good gems from other people.

I don't remember how I stumbled across a blog called Nothing But Bonfires. I know it was a while ago. I came across one particular entry in which the author described her move to San Francisco. Take a gander.

I can't think of a better way to describe how that move to San Francisco happened, how things just do happen, no matter how long you lie awake worrying about them. Sure, you can obsess about what you'll do when you get to a city you don't have any ties to, how you'll go about the complicated process of putting down roots, setting up camp, getting over hurdles. But in the end, time keeps ticking, things have to be done, and you do them. You get on the plane. You look for an apartment. You find a job, you go to the DMV, you make some friends to share your secrets with over bottles of wine you can suddenly afford. There's no choir of angels, no thunderbolt from above, no round of applause as you segue from scared to settled. Everything simply begins. And then you just keep going.

I can't think of a better way to illustrate how I feel right now. There's just one difference. The author wrote that passage after a good amount of time spent in her new place. I'm only a couple weeks in. I guess it's going okay.

I'm still nervous.

I'm still unsure.

I'm still holding on to things I need to let go of.

But I'm making good progress. I'm still going. There's really no other option.