Adrift

Here's how I feel at the moment.

I'm sitting in a life raft in the middle of the open ocean. It's not the sturdiest raft. It's got a few holes in it...but they're patched up. It's keeping me afloat just fine but there's always the chance it could start to lose air. So, I'm searching for another raft. There are actually several floating around me. I've got my choice of which one to jump on. But they don't look much sturdier than the one I'm on. Looks can be deceiving I guess. I could jump to one of these other rafts and it just might be the one that takes me to semi-permanent safety. On the other hand...it might pop as soon as I land. Not only that, I could jump and then spot a boat in the distance...the boat that I've been looking for. It's kind of the "saving grace." Unfortunately, there's the chance I can't make it to the boat from a different life raft. So I face the choice of staying where I am and waiting for the boat...or saying "screw it" and jump to another raft while I have the chance.

Does any of this make any sense?

Still here

Um...hi.

I'm still here.

I don't know why I haven't posted anything in nearly a month.

My only excuse is that life's complicated.

Check out what some jackass did to Jasper.

No clue how it happened. No clue when it happened. Just noticed it one morning. The good news is that it's fixed. It cost me $250...but Jasper is new enough and good-looking enough to warrant an unblemished facade.

I turned 30 less than five months ago. I had big plans to make my 30th year a great one. Well...things don't always work out. It's not that things have been bad. It's just that things have been unexpected, complicated, and frustrating. I want to go into detail. But I've never really poured out my heart and soul on this blog. I've had it for nearly five years. Even with infrequent updates, I love having it. I look back on old posts...and it's like a journal for me. But it's not where I reveal all my secrets. It's not where I unburden myself.

I will say there's a lot of uncertainty right now...both professionally and personally. I suppose a 30th year of life is a good time to work it all out.

Money & Adventure

I know from experience that money can't buy happiness. I also know that money can buy adventure. Adventure makes me happy. Go figure.

I took a tandem skydive two weeks ago. These are my two favorite photos from the experience.

I had been skydiving before. I went when I was 18 or 19. I don't remember much about that first experience except that I CHOSE a tandem skydive over a solo one. Going solo was an option and I was gung ho about doing it. Then I took the mandatory 5-hour class and got a little scared. I didn't want my life to be my responsibility. I'd rather put it in the hands of a professional. When it was all over I thought about the prospect of becoming a certified skydiver. That idea quickly faded. Now it's resurfaced. This latest skydiving experience was pretty damn cool. It has given me yet another goal in my thirst for adventure. I'm determined to become certified.

I'm not an adrenaline junkie. I don't feel like I have the kind of extreme personality that goes along with such a person. But I like adventure. I like doing cool things. I see something "cool" on television or in a magazine and I think, "I want to do that."

More and more, I'm realizing a lot of the things I want to do cost money. Lots of money. I'm not a rich man so, needless to say, I get frustrated. Here's the rundown...estimated costs only.

Become a certified skydiver: $3,000 (plus another $3,000 to buy personal equipment)

Get a helicopter pilot's license: $40,000

Get a pilot's license: $10,000

Go to acting school in NYC: $80,000

Study Spanish in Chile: $10,000

Volunteer at a wildlife sanctuary in South Africa: $5,000

Do some serious mountaineering: $10,000

Go to an acrobatic school: $4,000

I've done some cool things in life. I was a seasonal wanderer/worker for 4 years. I lived in New Zealand. I got to ride in a Blue Angels F-18. I'm currently a zip line tour guide.

But I want more. Sadly, I can't afford more. (Forget the issue of spare time. I'll address that if I ever get the money).

Sigh.

This one hurts

I do not have a good track record when it comes to marriage. My 4th TV wife finally had enough of me...and took off for Alabama. Here's the goodbye tribute we all put together for her.

Earlier in that same show, we revisited one of Michelle's greatest moments on the air. Take a look.

And with that...it's the end of an era. I've had four long-term co-anchors during my nearly 5 years in this business. I lucked out with all them. They will forever be close friends. But this divorce hurts...a lot. Michelle has been my best friend in Boise for the past 2.5 years. Sadly for her, she saw me more than she saw her real husband. Working the early morning shift will cause that to happen. Frankly, I'm heartbroken to see her go.

This is a summer of change for me...and Michelle's departure basically starts the dominoes falling. I'll soon have to focus on dealing with the unknowns ahead. For now, I'm just sad as my best Boise friend leaves town.

Good luck Starky. I'll miss you.

Remnants

I like to experience a little bit of nature on Independence Day. It seems appropriate. One of the greatest things about America is her natural beauty. Why not take it in on her birthday? So I took a little hike yesterday morning. I went to Bozeman for the weekend and hiked up to the "M" on the side of Baldy Mountain. It's a nice spot to look over the Gallatin Valley...or more specifically, Bozeman.

It was a good way to start the July 4th holiday. But I have to confess that I felt a strange uneasiness from the moment I drove in to the Bozeman area. It wasn't the place I knew. It wasn't the place I remembered. It wasn't the place I thought I loved so much. At first, I couldn't figure out why I felt so weird about being there. Besides a few new buildings, restaurants, and stores that have popped up...it looks pretty much the same. Not only that, I was there at what is arguably the most beautiful time of the year...when it's warm outside and everything is still green. But I still felt like a stranger in a place where I didn't think that was possible.

I thought things over on my drive home today. Here's my conclusion: there are very few remnants of my existence there. Here's my theory: without anything to tie you there...even a once familiar place can seem foreign.

I still know several people in Bozeman. But by the end of this summer, all of my closest friends will have left. Most of them are already gone. I only caught up with two people on this trip. There was no one else chat with. Just being there felt...lonely. I lived there for nearly 2.5 years. But now I realize my roots didn't run very deep. Outside of the TV news world, I didn't have any good friends. I'm not saying I regret things. I'm not sure it could have turned out any differently. Being in Bozeman was much more about learning the ropes of a new job and a new way of life. It wasn't about entrenching myself in the community. I think it was the same scenario for most of my TV friends. They were in the same boat as I was. Bozeman was simply a gathering place for all of us. It only provided a little context for the life we were all living. I don't think I love it any less. It is a beautiful town with amazing people. But before I go there again, I need to realize I'm going as nothing but a visitor.

I've wrote about a "sense of place" many times on this blog. Most of those writings involve Montana or Glacier National Park in some fashion. But it's taken me time to realize that my connection to a particular place is directly tied to the people I knew there. Going back to Glacier every year can still feel like "coming home." But that's only because many of my friends are still there. They are what made my experience so great.

People make the place. I found that out this weekend. Without the people...even a once loved place can seem...uncomfortable.

Dream Deferred

Here I come New York!!!!

That's what I'd like to be saying right now. But I can't...at least not yet. Let me lay it all out for you.

I did a lot of research on the New York Conservatory of Dramatic Arts. I heard good things. I heard bad things. Overall, my impression was favorable. I think I'd have a good time there. I think I'd learn a lot. I think two years in New York would be a pretty incredible experience. But it would be so...so...expensive.

I haven't been too honest with what this little adventure would cost. I've just said it would be a lot of money. But let me be upfront. Factoring in tuition, insurance, housing, and living expenses...I'd be looking at $80,000 over two years. The ONLY way to pay would be with student loans. I have great credit. I'm sure I could easily get the money. But paying it back seems daunting. I ran the numbers through several different loan repayment calculators I found online. Depending on how many years I chose to repay the loan...I'm looking at an average of $15,000 in interest costs. I'm also looking at a recommended annual salary of, on average, $80,000 to help in repayment. Yikes.

There are many variables. I know that. I could find a job in NYC to help pay the bills. I could try and live with friends. I could even graduate, get a starring movie role, make a million dollars and things would be just peachy. But there are no guarantees. I'm not afraid to take a leap of faith. I'm not afraid of risk. I'm not afraid of tackling something new and uncharted. But in this case, the price is just too high.

Here's the good news...

Whether acting turns out to be a passion or a hobby, there are countless ways for me to explore it. Luckily, there's not one acting school in one city that EVERYONE tries to get into. There are a lot of opportunities out there. I'm a strong advocate for pursuing a dream. At the same time, I realize I'm closing a door on one of mine. But I'm at peace with it only because I know it's just one door. Sometimes there are many ways to get to the finish line. This is one of those cases. I like acting. I'm interested in it. I'll explore it some way, in some fashion, some time in the near future.

For now...I have a car to pay off. I've got some credit card debt I need to take care of. I also have a $20,000 dental bill bearing down on me in the next few years. But more than all of that, I'm still in a business that I love, despite recent frustrations. I'm going to see where that takes me first.

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me and supported me in this. It still might happen...just not this year.

More Cowbell

Some friends of mine live lives straight out of a TV sitcom. They experience daily scenarios that only seem possible in the minds of a comedy writer. Hearing their stories is always fun. I've been jealous. Although embarrassing at times, the life of a sitcom character seemed more interesting.

Never again will I have that wish. Let me tell you why.

The picture above was taken this past weekend in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. It's a photo of my co-anchor Michelle and her lunatic aunt. I don't even remember her name. As you can see from Michelle's dress...it was her wedding weekend. You may also notice she's holding a little cow bell. What you can't see are the half-dozen other cow bells ...or cow balloons...in the room. What you don't know is that I'm indirectly responsible for them being there. That's not a good thing.

Michelle is one of my greatest friends. For the past two years, I've probably seen her more than she sees her own husband. She sits next to me on the anchor desk for two hours every morning. We sit across from each other in the newsroom too. We see each other a lot. I consider her my TV wife...but our relationship is more like that of a brother and sister. We love each other...but we want to kill each other too. The insults fly back and forth. It's all in good fun.

Michelle got engaged in February 2009. I've had to hear her talk about her wedding for a year and a half...and she's a chatty person. One of the biggest topics was her wedding diet. I got so tired of hearing about it that I soon came up with a new nickname for her: Cowbride. I told her she was going to be a cowbride and that I would bring cowbells to her wedding and ring them as she walked down the aisle. That made her mad. Ahh...good times.

You might be thinking, "what a jackass." Maybe...but I never would have brought cowbells to her wedding. Too bad someone else did.

This brings us to Michelle's lunatic aunt. At some point before the wedding on Saturday, Michelle took it upon herself to tell some family members about me. She was talking about work and explained who would be coming to the wedding. She talked about her co-anchor and how he would call her "cowbride." It was a story meant to illustrate the brother/sister relationship we had. I had no idea this took place. I barely saw Michelle before the wedding, let alone meet any family members. But now I know that her aunt took that story and ran with it.

I showed up at the reception pretty early and noticed the cow attire that adorned the room. To be honest, I didn't think much of it. It confused me a little but I certainly didn't think I could be responsible. How could I be? No one here knew about the little inside joke we shared. The evening wore on, Michelle and the wedding party arrived, and the celebration commenced. I went to the bathroom at one point. When I returned, Michelle was at my table asking where I was. Her aunt was by her side. Michelle saw me, glared at me, and said, "You!" Instantly, I knew. The "cowbride" banter had come back to haunt me. The aunt saw me and was delighted. Apparently she missed the fact that I would actually be there. She took me by the arm, led me around the room and shouted, "this is all because of you!" while pointing out the cow decorations.

I was stunned...embarrassed...immobile with disbelief. How? What? Huh?

Her aunt is the loud, obnoxious type too. Throw alcohol into the mix and it got worse. Eventually, as the evening wore on, people would ring the cow bells when that wanted Michelle and her husband to kiss. I turned red every time. My colleagues thought it was funny. I wanted to die. I don't want to give the impression that Michelle's night was ruined. It wasn't. The talk about "Cowbride" made up about 2% of the evening. She danced, laughed, smiled, drank, and had a good time. But every time her aunt made a scene, she was visibly irritated.

I really did feel like crap. I can't even convey how much it bugged me. I was in a bad mood most of the night. Michelle made it clear she didn't blame me. Her husband, who also works at our station, even came up to me and said it wasn't my fault. I know it too. I do. "Cowbride" was an inside joke between friends. I started the joke and never intended to share it with anyone outside of our little circle. Michelle had no idea what would happen by telling her own family. But that damn...crazy...lunatic....aunt.....

I know Michelle very well. When I take a close look at the photo above, I can tell the smile on her face is insincere and strained.

I feel like this story could be right out of a sitcom. A team of writers could probably make it hilarious. On some level, it is. Michelle gets back from her honeymoon in about a week and I guess I'll find out how she really feels.

But for now, I feel awful. Forget the sitcom life. I'm good with being boring.

Seattle

I've always assumed I just wasn't suited for city life. I always thought, "I could live there if I had to...but I'd prefer something else." I'm not so sure about that now. I spent last weekend in the Emerald City and found myself wishing I could relocate there. Wandering the streets of downtown Seattle just put a smile on my face. I'm not sure why. I didn't see much. I didn't do much. I just liked being there. Portland is still my favorite city in the Pacific Northwest. I'd still like to move there if I could. But Seattle would work fine too. Now if only I can get a job there.

I was in Seattle with high hopes. I wanted one of these:

I went home empty handed. A colleague and I were up for the award at the Northwest Regional Emmys. We were nominated for this story in the Best Light Feature Story category. I tried to downplay how much I cared about winning. Truth be told...I really wanted to. It helps a little that I lost out (as did six other nominees) to John Sharify. He's widely considered one of the best feature reporters in the country. I've seen his work and it's...damn...good. On the bright side I did get to accept three other awards. Two of my colleagues won a "Continuing Coverage" Emmy. Plus, our morning and evening newscasts won in their categories. So that was nice.

Now what?

Back in February I made a confession. I was toying with the idea of going back to school to study theater and acting. Over the next few months, I took a few hesitant steps in that direction. One of those steps was auditioning for a dramatic arts school in New York. I figured that I would try something audition based to gauge my talent/potential. According to the research I did, this school accepts about 180 students a year out of the 4,000 or so who audition. I think most people have been told not to believe everything (sometimes anything) they read online. I consider that whenever I'm perusing the interwebs. So I'm still not sure of this claim. Maybe they just say that to gain a reputation of exclusivity.

True or not...they accepted me. If I want to, I can start the two-year program this September.

There's just one minor hitch.

$$$$$$$$$$$

Tuition ain't cheap. Factor in living expenses, travel costs, insurance requirements and this little adventure of mine could cost a small fortune. On the surface, there is absolutely no way I can afford it. I don't have the money. No one I know has the money. I was offered a $1,000 scholarship but that is just a drop in the bucket.

The way I see it, there are only two ways I'll be moving to New York in 3 months. My first option is to suddenly come into some kind of financial fortune...like winning the lottery. My second, and most likely, option is to take out some student loans. I have great credit. I bet I'd have no problem doing it. But damn, the idea of such huge loans is intimidating. If I was studying to be a doctor I'd rely on the security of being able to pay them back some day. But acting? Well...it's not exactly a huge money maker...for most people anyway.

So there you have it. I want to do it. I just don't know if I can. So now what?

LOST opportunity

Who cares what I think...right? That said, I have to share my opinion on the series finale of LOST. (If you haven't seen the finale and you're planning on watching it, stop reading!)

I was a fan of the show from the beginning. I remember having my mom mail me a VHS copy of one of the first season finale while I was in Glacier. A small group of us was part of the "opening crew" at the hotel and we settled in to the hotel pub (the only TV with a VCR we could find) to watch.

I ended up catching season two online after it had aired and then I stayed caught up with the series from that point on. Like most people, I was always a little confused by the island goings-on. But I liked the fact that the show had a definite end date. I felt confident that if I invested in the show there would be some payoff. Now I feel tricked.

Let me explain though. I actually really liked the finale. What they did with the "sideways" world was brilliant. I thought it was beautiful and moving and a perfect ending to the entire series. But I feel like the finale was a two act play and they forgot to show us the first act. I found the following in a post-finale write up online. It explains perfectly how I feel.

"The finale's premise isn't that hard to grasp, but it confused us because it executes a switcheroo: It substitutes a "big" mystery of relatively slight interest (What is the status of the flash-sideways reality?) for all the littler enigmas that we actually do care about, such as why Aaron and Walt were so important, the reason for the fertility preoccupation in the first couple of seasons and the meaning of the numbers. You don't have to count yourself among that flock of literal-minded viewers who bleated incessantly for "answers" to everything (The glass eye! The Hurley bird! The Dharma food drops!) to find the answers we did get unsatisfying. A series like "Lost" doesn't need to solve all of its riddles, but it does need to address the right ones."

I understand that movies and television shows are best when they're character driven. We definitely got that with LOST. The show's creators did not disappoint in that regard. But they also chose to bring us the story of a mysterious island where strange things happen. "Keep tuning in," was the obvious plea. "You'll find out what's going on eventually." Except...we didn't. I thought it was building up to that point. In the episodes leading up to the finale we definitely got a lot of the island's backstory. All of that was great and I was thirsty for more. As it turns out, I'm still thirsty. What the producers chose to do...they did well. The two act play ended perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing. But I would like to see that first act. Somehow, that got looked over.

Centenarian

According to my iPhoto library, I've taken (or had someone else take with my camera) just over 2,000 photos in and around Glacier National Park. The one above is my all-time favorite. I'm pretty sure it was taken with a disposable black and white camera. I'm sitting on top of Swiftcurrent Peak, looking out over Granite Park Chalet (it's tiny but you can see it), and the McDonald Valley. To me, this picture epitomizes the four summers I spent in Glacier. It's my go-to photo when I want to share my experience with others. Some people are impressed. Some aren't. Either way, this picture always seems like the best way to illustrate my time spent there. When I try to explain how I feel verbally, things get too muddled.

Today is Glacier National Park's 100th birthday. I wish I could be there to celebrate.

There are many things you can wish for others to experience. Most would probably point to true love or true friendship. I concur. But I also hope that everyone out there is able to experience a "sense of place" as strong as I found in northwest Montana.

Happy Birthday Glacier.

Goings-on

It was a busy April. May doesn't look any better. In fact, this summer is already looking crammed full of crap. On some level it's exciting. On another...well, it's annoying because I like my leisure time. One day at a time...right?

Moving - I had planned to move out of my apartment. I wanted to find a roommate, pay no more than $350 in rent, and save some cash over the summer. It didn't work out that way. I gave my "intent to vacate" notice and started the housing hunt. Nothing panned out. There were options, but I'm picky. The last best hope resided in a guy who works for Fox News. He was a field producer, only home about 2 weeks a month, and he said he'd allow me to bring my cat. Unfortunately, his two Golden Retrievers felt differently. We arranged a pet meeting. It didn't go well. Most dogs I've seen are scared and intimidated by a hissing and spitting cat. Now I know there are some who lack that fear...and in fact, would prefer to rip the cat apart. So...no dice. All was not lost though. I got an $80 dollar a month rent reduction and have avoided the hassles of moving.

Incredible - I toyed with the idea of getting a smartphone back in 2008...when I was eligible for an upgrade. I passed and went with the standard flip phone. Fast forward to now. I was up for another upgrade and went with the HTC Droid Incredible. It is...well...incredible. I adore it. It has gotten stellar reviews and is considered the best Android cell phone on the market. I considered waiting until June (when the iPhone is rumored to be coming to Verizon) but decided to just pull the trigger. Many are saying it's just as good, if not better, than the iPhone anyway. It is a little strange to have Facebook and Twitter and the internet at my fingertips. But it's also very addictive and convenient. I'm glad I jumped on the smartphone bandwagon.

Kyle - Ladies and gentleman, the new morning team.

Work has been much better lately thanks to the addition of Kyle. Michelle and I were sad to see Mellisa go back in January. Not only because we liked her but because it meant more work for the both of us. For me, that meant a 2 1/2 month stint doing the weather. I'm glad I can deliver a decent forecast on television. But I don't like doing it all that much. So it was nice get a new morning meteorologist. Not only does Kyle take the load off, but he's good at his job. He's also very easygoing and likable. He's been on the show for about a month and we all think it's a good fit.

That's it for now. Spring is here. Summer's coming. I'm headed to Seattle, Coeur d'Alene, Glacier National Park, and Bozeman at various times over the next four months. Bring it on.

Worrisome

I have 7 days to vacate my apartment.

I still have no other place to live.

This presents a problem.

This explains why I'm stressed and haven't posted anything in weeks.

Forgive me.

Picture Page

I'm trying to blog more often. That said, I struggle with writing something new on a frequent basis. So I'm taking the easy way out and posting some photos. Here's a random photo from each album I have in iPhoto. I'm sure no one cares...but I'm tired and I wanted to post something. So there you have it.

From the "Moab Birthday" album. Imitating an arch...under an arch.

From the "Subway 2009" album. Jason's freedom jump.

From the "Many Glacier Winter" album. Heavy Shield covered in snow.

From the "Beaver Creek" album. After a day on the slopes.

From the "Glacier" album (by far the biggest album). A very windy day at Firebrand Pass.

From the "Boise Life" album. Fall colors outside my apartment.

From the "Beth's Wedding" album. From inside the chapel in Big Sky where Beth got married.

From the "Subway Road Trip" album. In the Subway, Zion National Park...2005.

From the "Southwest Road Trip" album. At the bottom of the Grand Canyon...standing in the Colorado River.

From the "Big Sky" album. Backcountry snowboarding.

From the "Alaska" album. Chris, Josh, and I at the Walburn/Hendricks cabin.

From the "Idaho Hiking" album. Michelle and Derek at Sawtooth Lake.

From the "Home" album. Mom & I right before I left for New Zealand.

From the "Bozeman Life" album. A moose on the loose in Bozeman.

From the "Montana Hiking" album. A group of us at Garnet Mountain Lookout Tower.

From the "Oklahoma" album. The Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial.

From the "Shelson Wedding" album. A group of friends at Jason & Shelly's wedding.

From the "Siri Wedding Road Trip" album. Siri (not pictured) got married in Alta, Utah. Here we are doing a little summer time ski lift riding.

From the "Merlin" album. Merlin's favorite spot for lounging. Half on the couch, half on the end table.

From the "Random" album. I rode a motorcycle to Glacier for the summer of 2003. Hardy and I took it back to Salt Lake in the back of his pick-up that autumn.

From the "News Stuff" album. We're in mid-show right here just before saying goodbye to Steve Dent on his last night.

I have 3,962 photos. This is just a sampling. Good night.

Stealing

Taking material from other blogs and using it as original content on my own....is so bloody convenient. But I should at least give credit where credit is due.

Two of the bloggers I follow recently posted some YouTube music video clips that really impressed me. I like music. But I don't love it. I never have. Sometimes I don't understand those who have thousands of songs on their iPods or iPhones. I haven't turned on my iPod in about two years. But that doesn't matter. I still appreciate music and I leave it to others to point out the good stuff. These aren't your ordinary Top 40 selections either. But I like 'em.

Derek had this gem from Frankmusik posted on his blog a few weeks back.

Dainon had this from Janelle Monae a little while ago. Good stuff.

30

Date: March 26, 2010

Time: Around 8:00 am

Place: Delicate Arch, Arches National Park, Utah

I'm 30 now. It's a number people really pay attention to. Arbitrary as it may be, it's a milestone. So why not mark such a milestone with a special occasion? That was the whole point of my birthday trip to Moab. I don't recall any bad birthdays in the past 30 years. But I also don't recall any particularly memorable ones...until now. My 30th birthday was the best birthday I've ever had.

I camped along the Colorado River with 8 friends. Beth and Aaron drove down from Bozeman. Ron and Jessie, also known as Sipner, drove over from Beaver Creek, Colorado. Brandon and Tim drove over from Boulder. Siri drove down from Park City. Last, but certainly not least, Dave (who has no blog, no Facebook page, and no Twitter account...therefore I can't link to him) drove 1,000 miles from Glacier National Park.

I woke everyone up at 5:00 am on my birthday. We were on the road by 6:00, headed into Arches. We had Delicate Arch all to ourselves, with the exception of one other hiker (who happened to take the group photo at the top of this post). We hiked down and drove into Moab for a delicious breakfast at the Jailhouse Cafe. By the time we were done it was raining pretty hard. So we headed back to camp and everyone napped for a few hours. The rain stopped in the afternoon and we headed back into the park for a hike through Devil's Garden. This is Partition Arch.

Then it was back into town for dinner at the Moab Brewery. Good friends Good beer. A good mushroom swiss burger. A good brownie sundae. Then it was back to camp for a brief evening campfire...then off to bed. It was perfect. Brandon put together this video. Thanks buddy.

I'm not particularly torn up about turning 30. I've been doing some serious soul-searching over the past several months but that's more a matter of timing than turning 30. I still feel young. God knows I act immature. Besides the gray hairs showing up on my temples, most people say I look like I'm in my 20s. There's nothing very significant in my mind about turning 30. It just....is. I'm fine with it. Any reservations I have are purely psychological. I've explained in recent posts how I'm toying with the idea of embarking on new adventures and exploring some uncharted territory. While I know I'm capable of tackling anything, the idea of doing so at age 30 is a little terrifying. But I suppose that's a fear I can face.

Lastly, thanks to the people who celebrated with me. You guys are awesome. Although the attempt at spelling my name with your bodies was dismal at best. Does anyone really see the "Lincoln!" in this picture?

Spring Fever

We're looking at our first real stretch of 60 degree days in Boise. I can't wait. I'm longing for warm temperatures. But I shouldn't complain too much. This winter has been a blur. It's been annoying and frustrating...but at least it's moved by at a quick pace. I didn't snowboard as much as I would have liked (and there's still time) but there's always next season...as long as global warming doesn't sink the ski industry.

As Spring approaches, I've got a few exciting events to look forward to.

First, and ultimately foremost, I'm almost done with filling in on weather. Our new morning meteorologist starts on the 29th. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I'm very glad I learned how to do weather. It's given me skills I never would have learned. BUT...doing it on a consistent basis sucks the joy out of my day. I'll still have to fill in now and then (and I don't mind that) but the end is near.

Second, my 30th birthday draws closer. I have some thoughts on turning 30. But I'll save those for later. For now, all I can focus on is my birthday trip to Moab. I've got a small group of friends coming with me and I'm getting pretty stoked. It should be a good time. I'm praying for sunshine.

Third, my agent should be making a new resume tape for me. I've signed with him recently and one of the things he pointed out to me is that he makes "killer" tapes. Everyone in the business knows a good tape is key. I'm anxious to see what he comes up with.

Fourth, I'm taking the first tentative steps in my side/alternative pursuit of drama/theater/acting. That means some monologue auditions. I'll see what happens there.

Fifth, Daylight Saving time is here. It's not so great for my sleep schedule. It's great for everything else.

Bring on Spring. I'm ready.

Do-over

Aesthetics are important to me. I pay attention to way things look. I'm interested in things like studio set design, architecture, and monument design. I also like spectacle. Concerts and fireworks displays come to mind. I like it when my eyes are wowed.

That's why I was so disappointed with the opening ceremonies at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. That stupid glitch with the Olympic cauldron really pissed me off. I know, I know. What a dumb thing to fixate on. But I haven't been able to get it out of my head for the past two weeks. It's supposed to be the pinnacle moment...and it gets screwed up. I know it was no one's fault. But there were BILLIONS of people watching from across the world...and the most visually compelling display...fizzles. Frustrating...and pretty embarrassing for Canada.

As far as I was concerned, Vancouver blew it with that one big mess-up. I was wrong. I had a big smile on my face when I saw them acknowledge the glitch in tonight's closing ceremonies. A mime comes out, does a little "maintenance" work on the broken cauldron arm, and it rises out of the ground. Then, Canadian athlete Catriona LeMay Doan, the woman who missed out on the first lighting because of the glitch, sets the thing ablaze. It was awesome.

As far as aesthetics are concerned, I think it's the coolest cauldron I've seen...followed closely by Salt Lake's.

I love the Olympics. I was lucky enough to be involved in the 2002 Games. I'd like to be a part of a future Games. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say I probably won't be an Olympic athlete anytime soon. So, hopefully I can be in London, Sochi, Rio, or a future Olympic city as a broadcaster. We'll see.

Go time

First and foremost...I'm excited to be here in 29 days.

I haven't been to Delicate Arch in about 5 years. But I'll be welcoming my 30th year with a sunrise hike to my old friend. Early in the morning (or even in the middle of the night) is the only appropriate time for a visit. Delicate Arch is too popular, too awesome, and too easy to get to. Because of that, most people have to share a visit with throngs of others. I've even heard up to 10,000 people have made the trek in a single weekend. I won't accept that. I'm selfish when it comes to nature. I've been to the arch about a dozen times in my life. For the past 5 or 6 visits, I've never been there with more than one or two people. (That doesn't include the friends I've hiked with). That's only because I've hiked up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning. That's the plan next month. I've invited many friends. I'm not sure how many will show up. But I honestly can't think of a better way to celebrate a birthday. Bar hopping and getting trashed for my 30th...well, that's not exactly my cup of tea.

In other news, I've been a little more open lately about my itch to get into theater and acting. The support is nice. I'm thankful to have friends and family who don't laugh off seemingly crazy aspirations. So...I'm pursuing it...to a degree. I won't be taking any giant leaps of faith. I'm well aware that great rewards often involve great risk. But I'm going to be somewhat practical in my approach. I'll keep those details to myself for now.

I will be in Boise for the next 6 months. I've signed a short extension with my station. I've also signed with a talent agent to help with my next news job. News is still a passion of mine. I think it would be foolish of me to give up on it completely. I know how the business works. I have a good head start. I have experience. While the industry is getting hit hard economically, I have nothing to lose by looking for another gig. There's no telling what I might find or where I might end up. An excellent opportunity just might present itself.

So the heat's been turned off for a while. August will be here before I know it and I'm sure I'll start freaking out soon enough. For now though, I'm breathing easier.

Change of course?

I packed up my life and moved to Montana in the summer of 2002. At the time, I thought it would be a 4-month long diversion from life. Long story short...4 months turned into 4 years. Plenty of people thought I was crazy. That bothered me a little but I found comfort in two things: the fact I was having a kick-ass time and the knowledge that I was doing what was right for me. I took a major detour and I felt good about it.

I figured that would be the end of it. I left the seasonal world more than 4 years ago and jumped into the world of TV news. Overall, it's been a very good experience. I've learned a lot. I've been validated many times. I enjoy what I do. That is why the prospect of another detour seems so unbelievably terrifying. But that's exactly what I'm thinking about. Another detour. I can't get it out of my head.

I've been a mess for the past few weeks. I really have. I wake up to heated arguments already blazing in my head. I go to bed with the same.

Do it. Don't do it.

Dive in. Step in.

Rational. Irrational.

Too old. Age is a number.

Crazy. Sane.

Risk. Reward.

It's killing me. I've had desires to do things before and I've never gone full throttle because there just didn't seem to be a way. But no matter what, I can't look at this like that. I've tried. The rational part of me has tried to be pragmatic and cautious. It's not working. I've got an itch to do something and I'm starting to think the only thing I can do is scratch it.

The question now is to what degree. I love news. I always will. But I've gotten bored and unsatisfied. There's every likelihood that a new job would reinvigorate me and shove these latest inklings to the corner of my mind. But I'm not even sure I want that to happen. There's also the not-so-minor detail of actually finding a new job.

A few of you might be asking, "What the hell does he want to do?"

I'll tell you...and that, in itself, is a big step.

I'm thinking about going back to school to study acting and theater.

Yeah, yeah...I'd raise one eyebrow too. There are major issues to work through. Location. Cost. Etc. But I've always had an interest in it. It's just that news has always trumped it. I've started to wonder if it can be trumped anymore.