Blunt

A conversation I had today with a prospective talent agent.

Me: Hello.

Agent: Is this Lincoln?

Me: Yes it is.

Agent: Hi Lincoln, this is so-and-so from so-and-so.

Me: Hi there.

Agent: Let's cut to the chase. What's your current contract situation?

Me: Well, it expires at the end of February and I'm currently negotiating an extension.

Agent: And you're looking for a job and haven't had any bites. (said as a statement)

Me: Uh...yes.

Agent: Well first of all, get rid of those glasses.

Me: Uh....

Agent: Seriously. They're distracting. No one wears glasses. What about contacts or Lasik?

Me: Well I'm not a fan of contacts and I'm not a good candidate for Lasik.

Agent: Well get some contacts. Secondly, gain some weight or hit the gym.

Me: Uh....

Agent: You don't have a commanding build. If you want to be an anchor, you need broad shoulders. You're too slight.

(Silence)

Agent: I figure I should just be blunt.

Me: Uh....okay.

Agent: I take it you live in a part of the country that isn't getting a lot of sunlight right now.

Me: Uh....

Agent: You're very pale. Either get some new make-up or hit the tanning booth.

Me: Uh....

Agent: Tell you what, I'll send you a sample contract and if you promise to work on the things we talked about, I'd be happy to represent you.

Me: Okay.

The End

I paraphrased a little bit...but only a little. He did say I had a good voice. I'll give an inch on the pale hue of my skin. I need a little color. But this guy was a douchebag. I will not be signing with him.

Update

When it's been this long without a blog update, I usually feel guilty about it. That's mainly because I usually have things to say but I'm too lazy to sit down and put my thoughts into coherent sentences.

But this time around, I just haven't had much to say.

January is almost over. Crazy. I think it's safe to say this year is already zipping by. I'm a little less stressed about my professional life. True...my contract expires in just over a month. True...I haven't found any other news job. True...the continuation of employment with my current station is unknown at this point. But I feel more confident. I've had talks with two talent agencies. I'm intrigued by both. Employment (in my industry at least) is picking up around the country. So I'm hopeful. Now I just have to survive in the short term.

If I can't work out a short term deal where I am...I've got other options. Unfortunately nearly all of them involve some kind of employment lull lasting from March until mid-May. After that, I could do a number of things. I could pack up and go to mom and dad's house in Salt Lake. (Both mom and dad probably just read that sentence and thought, "what!?") I could pack up and head to Glacier National Park. (I've got a cat now and that means no more living in employee housing). I could stay in Boise and work full time at Zip Idaho. (From a logistics perspective, it's the easiest option. But I'd have to downsize so my wages could cover all my expenses).

Anyone have any other ideas for me?

All the while, no matter where I am in a months time, I'll be looking for my next TV gig. I'm confident I'll find it. It's just a matter of timing.

Sleepy Time

I am a tired drunk.

There...I said it. It's the main reason I don't like bars. It's the main reason I don't like to "party." When I drink, I get sleepy. Very sleepy.

So when anyone asks me to come out and "party" I say, "what's the point?" I'll be ready for bed at midnight anyway.

Sometimes, I get jealous of those who like to head downtown and party the night away. Sometimes, I wish I could do that. Sometimes, I wish I could roam the streets with wild abandon and go from bar to bar.

But I can't.

Because I'm ready for bed by the time we're headed to the second bar.

So quit asking me to "go out." It's futile. It only leads to bed...and not the good kind...where so many "other" drunk people end up. I actually end up sleeping.

Good night.

She's outta here!

We said goodbye to Mellisa this morning. Sad to see her go. Here's a closer look at the cake we got for her.

And here I am...eating my own face.
Attractive, I know.

Good luck Mellisa. I'll miss you.

A Tense Relationship

Merlin has a new friend. Her name is Snickers.

Merlin was curious at first...but is now skeptical of Snickers.
Snickers doesn't seem to care and likes to push Merlin's buttons.
Merlin says "bitch" and pushes right back.

Pandemonium ensues.

Snickers realizes she bit off more than she can chew.
Snickers hisses, moans, and wails through the brawl. Merlin is completely silent.

Soon...all is well and they're back to being friends (sort of) again...until the next round.

FYI: I did not get a new cat. I am cat-sitting for a co-worker. Before you call Animal Cops on me, the pictures aren't as bad as they look. Snickers has no claws. Merlin's are trimmed. I'm also fairly certain it's just a little rough housing. They sleep peacefully at night...a few feet apart on my bed. Still, Merlin is a bully. Snickers is a misbehaving little brat. I can't wait 'til she leaves.

Bronco Nation

When the University of Utah went to the Fiesta Bowl in 2005...I lived in Montana.

When the Utes beat Alabama in the 2009 Sugar Bowl...I lived in Idaho.

When Boise State beat Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl...I barely knew, and certainly didn't care, what "Boise State" was.

My point is that I haven't been in a very good position to appreciate a certain team's appearance in a good bowl game...until yesterday.

With Boise State in the 2010 Fiesta Bowl, I was living in Boise, Idaho. Good fit, right? It really was a cool experience. This entire town was behind the Broncos. I have no special allegiance to BSU, but it just felt right to jump on the bandwagon. Here's the Bronco attire I sported on the news today.

I watched the game too. I'm not a huge football fan. But I was into this game. It was a good time. I even found myself wishing I was down in Glendale to see it in person. I also found myself looking back at the 2007 game and thinking, "wow...it would have been cool to be a part of that."

I won't be in Boise forever. But while I am here, I'm 100% behind the Broncos.

Unseen Horizons

Dear Boise,

It's not you, it's me. I know that's a horrible cliche to refer to when loosening ties with someone...but it's true. You're cute. You're charming. You're vibrant. You provide a quality of life that most people across the country probably don't experience. You're filled with good, honest people who love you for what you give them...a wonderful place to call home. In all honesty, I can't find a single thing wrong with you. So why would I want to break up with you? I already told you why. It's not you. It's me. That's all I can say. I'm sorry.

Love, Lincoln

I've had a lot on my mind the past several months. I haven't really opened up, on this blog at least, because things were muddled. They still are. But I need to flesh out my thoughts and this seems like the perfect place to do it. I have no immediate plans to leave Boise. My contract is up in a couple months. I've been looking around for new opportunities but they're either few and far between or the competition for them is insanely intense. I'm assuming I have the option to stay at my current job and negotiate a new contract. If that turns out to be true...do I want to do that? There's something to be said for simply "having a job" during times like these. But I wrote that letter to Boise for a reason. I feel like I need to move on. It's time. Coming here was the right thing to do. I learned a lot. I grew a lot. But I'm ready for the next step. But therein lies the problem. What is the next step? I have no idea.

This all made harder when you see people around you taking their next step. This is a picture of myself and my co-anchor Mellisa. We hosted the Miss Idaho Pageant last summer. Mellisa is leaving Boise for a new TV job in Sacramento. She deserves it and I'm very happy for her. But, so far in this business, she is my longest running TV wife. It's sad to see her go. I've always hated watching other people move on. It was a little different when I was in Bozeman. Out of all my closest friends there, I was the first to leave. That's sad as well, but in a different way. Mellisa leaves behind Michelle and I. She's my other co-anchor.

Michelle's future is uncertain too. No matter where she ends up and when she ends up there, she's moving forward in big ways. For starters, she's getting married this year. It's just another example of people around me "moving on." I feel stuck.

So there you have it. There are big changes going on around me. It'd be nice to be a part of them...but I feel left out. And even though I'd like to move forward....I'm not even sure where I want to go. It's no secret the broadcasting business is struggling. Jobs are scarce. Salaries have taken a nosedive. The future looks bleak. That just adds more fuel to this already confusing fire.

Oh, and let's not forget one other important thing. I turn 30 this year. My birthday is just under three months away. It's a big milestone. I'd love to feel confident, put-together, and comfortable in my own skin on such a big day. Instead, I'm on my way feeling like a lost mess.

Happy New Year.

I want it, I want it, I want it!!!!

I'm pissed. I saw this fleece pullover in the Boise North Face store about a month ago. I liked it. I really liked it. But I didn't buy it. It seemed too expensive. It was too expensive. But then I see some guy wearing it downtown and think, "hmm...I like that. I'm going to buy it." But they're sold out. Not a big deal. I figure I can find it on the internet. Holy "out-of-stock" hell! You can't find it ANYWHERE!

I'm very specific about what I want too. It's the Men's Gordon Lyons 1/4 zip pullover fleece. I need a medium in the Lunar Ice Grey color.

I hope they make more.

Home

This is Whiskers. I call him "my cat" but I suppose that's not really truthful. He lives in Salt Lake with my parents. So yeah...in terms of ownership and residence, he's not my cat. But he was at one time. I picked him out of the dozens of other cats at the Utah Humane Society. It was October of 1996. He was 5 months old. I opened the cage, he stretched a bit, and then jumped out on my shoulder and sat there calmly. I like to say he picked me. He was my buddy for the next 6 years. I played rough with him and I'm pretty sure that's why he developed a pissy personality. He doesn't really like anyone beyond my parents and I. He tolerates a few other people...but he's bitten or scratched all of us at one point or another. He's a grumpy old man. He'll be 14 years old in May. In cat years, that's about 72. He's pretty much my mom's cat now.

He made that very evident with the look he gave me in this picture. "You abandoned me," he's thinking. "What did you think would happen?" Still, he greets me with a warm welcome every time I come home. He hasn't forgotten me...which is kinda nice.

In other news from the home front, here's this year's Graves Family Christmas tree. It's hard to make out the ornaments, but many of them are shaped like large Christmas lights.

Ever since I can remember, my parents have done a different Christmas tree theme every year. It's an expensive habit. Our crawl space is stocked with old ornaments, used once, and then packed away. But we've had some awesome trees. I think my favorite was the country western theme. That was years ago. The snow man tree was a good one too.

It was a good Christmas. I got a Nintendo DS and a new Canon PowerShot SX200 camera (which took the above pictures).

My parents, in their continuing quest to humiliate me, also bought me a Snuggie. It's still in the package...beckoning me to take it out and try it on. I don't know if I can do it. And if I do...I certainly won't admit it.

Restless

I left Salt Lake in June of 2002. It was an exciting time for me. I was headed to Glacier National Park for a much needed respite. I didn't know at the time that it was the beginning of a four-year stint as a seasonal tourism worker. No one else knew that either. I think most people thought I would "get away" for the summer and return to normal life. When that didn't happen, friends and family began to wonder about me. That bothered me. So I had to respond.

I'm not actually sure if any of my friends or family ever saw this. I meant to give it to people...and maybe I did. I just don't remember. Either way, I believe I wrote this before I left for New Zealand in 2003.

Everyone is so puzzled by what I'm doing. That frustrates me but at least I can understand why they feel that way. I had such direction in my life. I was winning awards and doing internships. Everyone said I had talent. I was headed somewhere...maybe even somewhere fast. Then the shit hit the fan. I broke up with Erin, my private life spilled out into the open, and I was left by myself to mop things up. I sought refuge in Montana. Going to Glacier was a chance for me to heal. I wanted to get away from Salt Lake and the people I knew. I wanted to meet new people and make new friends. I wanted to recuperate...and I did. My breakup was the hardest thing I've ever been through, but I'm over it. I've healed. I don't feel sad anymore. I'm even glad it happened. I guess most people assume that when you finally get through a difficult time in your life, you kind of go back to the way things were. You resume life in a sense. Going to Glacier prompted me to start living again. But instead of going back to the way things were (journalism, internships, finding a job) I started to explore some different options. Instead of backtracking, I started down a brand new path. Once I traveled far enough down that avenue, there was no going back.

Despite how things look, I have not lost direction or motivation. I've simply discovered what's really important to me. By traveling and doing seasonal work I get to hike, snowboard, ski, mountain bike and learn how to participate in countless other activities. It's fun. How could it not be? But if anyone believes I'm doing seasonal work just to "have fun," they are sadly mistaken. I'm out there looking for (and finding along the way) two things much more serious and profound than that...myself and human relationships. You always hear about people trying to "find themselves." Most people will roll their eyes at such a "corny" idea. They don't understand it. But I can truly relate to it. It's hard for me to explain but just try to believe me when I say it's an integral part of my life. It's a goal to keep striving for. It's the people I meet along the way that help me reach that goal. I have never had better friends in my life than the ones I've met in Montana. And the prospect of meeting more incredible people throughout the world is very exciting for me. I didn't go back to Glacier for the hiking or the bus driving or for the fun of it. I went to meet the people. Lucky for me I did because I left Glacier this year with four of the best friends I'll ever have. Friends like them have become very important to me...and I'd love to find more. Who knows...I might even find the person I'll spend the rest of my life with.

People measure success in different ways. For some it can be how far they get in their career, how much money they have, or even raising children. For me, right now, success is the tight bonds I've helped create and the truth I've learned about myself.

My point is that I'm not done yet. I'm not satisfied just yet with the things and people I've discovered. I still feel like something else is out there waiting for me. Therefore, I'm going to keep traveling and doing seasonal work until I find it. God only knows when that will be. And even when I do, that doesn't mean I'm going to go back to "real life" as so many people imagine it. I would still like to work in the field of broadcasting. That's not to say my desires won't change but it still interests me. I trained for it and I enjoy it. It's just that I may not take the most common path to get there. I may not be the news reporter or anchor I always dreamed of. Then again I might be. I just don't know. And I'm not going to decide anytime soon no matter how much others may feel like I need to. I no longer believe your life path is supposed to be decided when you're young. It seems more logical to me that you keep discovering new forks in the road as you go through life. I have absolutely no idea where I'm going to be in five years...and I like it that way.

Don't worry about me. Don't wonder, with concern, what happened to all of my goals. They're still there. They're just different now. I decided to write this because I'm getting tired of all the serious, half-serious, and joking attempts to nudge me back into the "real" world. No one ever expected this path for me and I certainly never expected it for myself. But my mother always told me that the most important thing in life was being happy. So be happy for me...because I've never been happier.

"Not all who wander are lost." J.R.R Tolkien

I found this letter near the end of this very strange day. It's been a day of out-of-nowhere signals and clues as to where I'm headed in life and where I want to go. I can't quite make sense of all of it just yet. But I feel a change on the horizon. It could be as simple as a new job in broadcasting. It could be something else entirely. I honestly have no idea. But I've been anxious all day. Finding this letter eased my mind quite a bit. There's a connection between what I was feeling when I wrote this and what I'm feeling now. But I can't explain what the connection is. My present circumstances are very different from those of 2003. But there's a sense of familiarity that I just can't put my finger on. The water is muddy right now. I need to be patient and let the dirt settle. Then I'll be able to see more clearly.

Calmer

I know I've been quiet for a while. I've got a lot on my mind. I compare it to the way I felt near the end of my time in Bozeman. I'll go into details another time. My point is that there is one big difference between now and then. I'm not stressed this time around. I feel a little anxious and worried about the future...but my stress level is low. That's a good thing. A very good thing.

I opened my door this morning to go preheat Jasper and was greeted with a winter wonderland. I stood in the doorway shocked at all the snow on the ground and all the snow falling from the sky. I love it when a winter storm can surprise you like that. It's a great feeling to see snow for the first time in a season. A lot of people hate it. I'll probably hate it by February. But today...I loved it.

I just wish other people could drive in it. The idiocy of others makes my commute treacherous.

We like you, but.....

Despite the bad news, it's the nicest and most encouraging rejection letter I've ever received.

Dear Lincoln,

Thank you for sending me your material.

I've had a chance to review it and found your work to be quite good. Unfortunately, (Agency) cannot represent you at this time. The lack of viable openings in the markets we deal with is the major variable in this decision. It would not be fair to you or the clients I currently represent to take you on when my time and facilities are already committed.

Enclosed is a list of consultants that may be able to help you. I thank you for thinking of (Agency). I wish you all the best with your future broadcast endeavors.

Best regards,

(Agent)

Here we go again

I remember when the days of job hunting were simple. I'd look through the classifieds, circle things I found interesting, and apply. In my days of seasonal hospitality, I'd zero in on cool and interesting places and simply "find a job" there. Then I got into TV...and things changed. I realize all of us understand the personal nature of not being chosen for a job. But am I wrong in thinking rejection in broadcast journalism is especially personal?

Here's my face. Here's my voice. Here's my style. What do you think?

Um...thanks, but we'll have to pass.

It is time again for the job hunt. I will have been in Boise for two years come February. Staying here is an option. All I can say about that is that there are many things to think about and I'm taking everything into consideration.

But I still have to see what's out there. I have to explore every possibility. I still have to apply for other jobs. Things are trickier this time around. The economy sucks. News outlets across the country are cutting back. Things just aren't looking rosy for the industry. But I've started the process anyway. I've put together a resume tape. I've written cover letters. I've updated the resume. I've even applied for a few jobs just to see what happens. There are additional steps to take but I'm holding off until the end of my contract draws closer. Still, the response to my initial efforts has been...dismal. When it comes to jobs, no one has contacted me. When it comes to talent agents (one route I'm exploring) only one has expressed any interest. It's simply frustrating.

While I don't have the thickest skin, I am pretty good about not letting things get to me. But it can be a battle. I have highs and lows. Why did I get into a business that can wreak havoc on my self-esteem?

I do have to remember one things. I went through the same process when I was looking for my second TV job. I wasn't very satisfied with the responses I was getting. But I did end up finding something good. So I'm not giving up. I'm just simply recognizing what I've already been through and saying to myself, "here we go again."

I've developed a fear of cars

This is my latest "sweeps" story. Foreign countries routinely show gritty, graphic public service announcements. Should America take the same route? I think it turned out pretty well. Kevin, my photographer, did an awesome job.

Check it out. Although I've become numb to the footage from seeing it so much, I guess I should warn everyone and say it is pretty graphic.

Finished Product

Thanks for all the comments on the promo spot from the previous post. Here's the actual story. I have to give a lot of credit to Eric Turner. He's the photographer who shot most of the footage and edited the story. He did a great job. Journalism (however featurey it may be) is so much better when a reporter and photographer come together for a great collaboration. One man banding may be the wave of the future...but quality is going to suffer along with that. I love Halloween.

BRAINS!!!

I like doing fun stories at work. In honor of Halloween, I've got a fun feature story that's airing this weekend. I haven't seen the finished product yet. But I did get to see the promo my station will be running for it. Our promotions guy did an awesome job. I'm already getting flack for it at work but who cares? Enjoy.

Starbucks Stats

I have a very embarrassing story to tell you. But first, let's start off with another story. 

I like lattes. While I enjoy small, independent coffee shops I still appreciate a coffee giant like Starbucks. When I'm in a hurry and I want my latte fix I know I can find a Starbucks fairly easily. I know what I'll be getting when I go there. I know I'll like it. Yet I've slowly come to realize there's an issue with Starbucks. I should have noticed it a long time ago. But I never thought about it long enough to notice the pattern. That pattern is this: Starbucks gets my order wrong about 20% of the time. I always order the same thing...a tall, one pump, vanilla, nonfat latte. There are two ways to screw this drink up. They can either add way too much syrup or use whole milk. It doesn't matter what method they use. My drink still gets screwed up...20% of the time. My problem is that I don't immediately notice there's something wrong with the drink. I'm not an everyday Starbucks drinker. I'd say I get a latte about twice a week. I don't think I get one often enough to spot the bad seeds immediately. But I'm getting better at it. I'm paying more attention. My vow to myself is this: I will take one sip of that latte and immediately know whether Starbucks has screwed it up. I will then return it and ask for another one. 

This brings me to that embarrassing story. I order my usual latte this past Saturday on my way to work. I went through the drive up window. I got my coffee, put it in the cup holder, and drove off. I finally tasted it a couple minutes later. It didn't taste right. I had other things on my mind so I chalked it up to "too much syrup" and thought, "I can live with it." But over the next 30 minutes I kept trying to put my finger on what exactly was wrong with my latte. The taste was just..."off." Finally, after the drink was nearly gone, my mouth dropped open. There was no espresso in it. My latte wasn't even a latte. I was drinking steamed milk...with a little vanilla flavoring. How I didn't notice...well, that's beyond me. But I'm noticing from now on. 

One other note about lattes. While it's probably a good thing for my checkbook, I'm very irritated at the fact there are no 24-hour coffee shops in the Boise area. I would love to grab a latte every morning at 3:30 on my way to work. No such luck. 

Discoveries

I discovered three things about Merlin today. 

While his shedding irritates me beyond belief...it's gotten a lot better as we head into winter. Here he is laughing at me when I vacuum. 

It suddenly occurred to me that I've had him for just over a year. This is the first picture I ever took of him. 
He also likes beer.

Morning Jaunt

Have I tried as hard as I can? No. But over the years, I've made somewhat of an effort to become a runner. I do okay. It just never takes hold. I never embrace the intensity I should. I'd describe my efforts as a little more than half hearted. Therefore, it's no surprise I was a little nervous about running a 10K this past weekend. I wasn't worried about finishing 6.2 miles. I was worried about the hit my pride would take if my time was dismal. I was concerned I'd somehow injure myself due to a lack of sufficient training. Things went better than expected. I finished in under an hour (barely) and while I was sore Sunday and today, I don't think I hurt myself. The best part is that I actually had a good time. I didn't have to battle my way through it. I felt pretty good. That's motivated me for another race. I know that if I actually train a little harder, I can run faster. My goal for the next 10K (probably in December): Under 50 minutes. Not too ambitious, I know. But it's something. 

We finished the race by running into Boise State University's Bronco Stadium and taking a lap around the Smurf Turf. Here I am on the 30 yard line. All in all...it was a good day. 

Changing Seasons

Ahhh...Fall is here. I guess that's good. Snowboarding is right around the corner. That does, however, mean the end of zip lining for the season. I might have one or two weekends left as a part time zip line tour guide. I took these photos last weekend. With all my gear on I'd normally look like a badass in the second photo. Unfortunately, I'm too much a of a dork. I'm so glad I've been able to do this. It's been a lot of fun. I'll do it for my third season if I'm still in Boise next summer. But that's another story. 

It's been over two weeks since my last blog entry. I used to feel much more guilty about not posting new stuff. But besides my parents, a few close friends, and a sprinkling of other acquaintances, no one really reads it. Still, I'll try to be better. It helps when my life is a little more interesting. For instance, I'm being made up to look like a zombie tomorrow night and I'm acting in one of the Boise area's most popular haunted houses. It's for an upcoming story on my station. That should be fun. 

Oh...and I'm running a 10K on Saturday. A distance of 6.2 miles may sound like a lot to some people...a little to others. I know I can do it, but I haven't been training like I'm supposed to. Right now, I'm simply hoping to finish in under an hour. Wish me luck.